March 7, 2009

March 6, 2009

March 5, 2009

  • Dear Snippie (My Girlfriend's Afraid of Everything)

    Question:

    20 M
     
     Well I know this is the normal thing you usually get but I'm at my wits end (wow, can't believe i used that phrase). Anyway, I've tried this "communication" that everyone tries talking about and don't know what to do next. Here's the case...I like doing random things. Walking around places I don't normally go, taking a drive to the middle of nowhere to watch a sunset or look at the stars where there isn't any city light to block it out, etc etc etc. Well, as much as I love my fiance I cannot get her to feel comfortable doing these things. For that matter I can't even get her comfortable enough to drive on a street with a speed limit faster than 25which has stopped her from getting a job in years because while she has a license she refuses to get a car because she wouldn't drive it unless there is an emergency. She still takes the long way around the lake at the college we go to because the short way doesn't have any buildings near the walkway.
     
    So in other words she seems to want to go through life looking over her shoulder thinking every person around her will mug her and beat her up and having someone drive her around. Thinking every sound around her is someone with a gun jumping from her own shadow sometimes. In fact just the other week she asked if I'd walk with her into the library because she'd never been and felt weird going in there to watch a video for class and refuses to go into the computer lab at school or sit in the cafeteria because she "just feels too weird" doing it. Now I know that it's hard for me to understand because I walk around comfortable, with my head raised and saying hello and smiling at every stranger I walk by. And despite my three at fault accidents and one not at fault I continue to drive everyday to work and school.
     
    Many of our latest arguments over this topic have been leading to the fact that I don't understand and I finally asked her what is it she thought I didn't understand and she blurted out that it's cuz she's a girl. So I really need an opinion from the female population. Why would she feel so uptight about leaving the 'comfort zone' of what she normally does?

    Answer:
    Honestly, I think she needs to see a Psychotherapist. She obviously has some serious issues she needs to deal with. It's not because she's a girl. She probably doesn't even know why she's like this. But it's no way to live. I commend you for trying to help her but she needs a professional. I would explain this to her in a gentle way though. She probably won't go for it at first but maybe with a little encouragement from you she'll think twice about it.

    ***********************************************

    Send your relationship and sex questions to:

    dearsnippie@gmail.com

    Find out what everyone thinks without them knowing its you!

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    What do you think?

March 4, 2009

  • Chronic Pain

    Not many of you know this, but I have chronic pain. I've had it for 18 years now. I've been to many doctors and none of them can really help me. They can only help me manage the pain so I can live my life. I don't think it will ever be cured. I've tried almost everything there is to help it.

    Imagine waking up everyday in pain. Then having to go through your day as if you're not. Raise your children. Work your full time job. Take care of your house. Just living you life. But always being in pain with every move. You learn to cope. You learn to mask it so others don't see. You don't want their pity. You want to seem normal. Most people when they find out are shocked because they would have never known otherwise.

    Masking yourself to the world. Deep down all you feel is pain.

March 3, 2009

March 2, 2009

  • Dear Snippie (I'm dating a virgin)

    Question:

    Age 26 Male
     
    I recently started dating this unreasonably sweet girl.  We were only going out for about 2 weeks when things led back to the bed room.  While we were fooling around, she seemed uncomfortable, but didn't want to say anything.  So I stopped what we were doing and asked her what was up.  I had to ask her a few times to get her to admit she was scared, and then I had to directly ask if she was a virgin.  Now, I haven't been a virgin for a long while, and I wouldn't even feel right to pressure someone into changing their mind about such a thing.  Since then we've gotten very close to sex several times, and I've been the one to stop things all but one of the times.
     
    The thing is, she's not particularly religious, but she was raised to believe in no sex before marriage (I mean, I was too... but look how that ended up :p).  I suppose my question is, should I let things happen next time, or am I doing the 'right' thing to keep them from going so far? 
     
    Communication is the key I know... it's just difficult to talk to her about why she believes in no sex before marriage without it sounding like I think it's not a valid stance.  When I try to understand someone's point of view, I normally come across as trying to change their view to match my own, and I don't want to do that with this girl.  She's very very sweet and innocent... please help :<

    Answer:
    I commend you for being such a gentleman. There aren't a lot of men out there like you. I have to say that if you guys love each other and she wants to have sex with you then I think that's ok. But I didn't hear you say you love her. She sounds like she's just someone you're dating. So I would say waiting is best. I would hope she could make the waiting decision for herself but it sounds like she's having conflicting thoughts with you. So go with your heart. If you love this girl and want to be with her and only her and feel you could marry her than maybe you should discuss the sex issue. If the answer is no to that, then I dont think you should even consider it.

    ***********************************************

    Send your questions to:

    dearsnippie@gmail.com

    and find out what everyone thinks without them knowing its you!

    Please do NOT send me questions that you have blogged about or have posted on an ISH site!

    Please fill this out for the email:

    Age ___    M/F ___

    Also try and include as many details as you can.

    Please rec this post. It helps me get more questions.
    I can't do these post without questions.

     
    , Snippie

February 28, 2009

February 27, 2009

  • Dear Snippie (My man likes me on top)

    Question:
    Age:22  F
    Dear Snippie,
    I've just come across your site on xanga and thought maybe you could help me with this...
    My boyfriend and I have gotten to the sexual stage of the relationship.  So, we've had a talk and everything was fine, we even mentioned different positions and such.  We shared our favorite positions and his was the girl being on top.  He told me that it takes him a long time to orgasm when he's on top, so I told him that I like being on top sometimes... so that was kinda fab.
    But now, I'm constantly there... even when it starts off with him on top... we end up switching places.  I'm having thoughts on whether he is even able to orgasm when he's on top.  Also, not only being on top I feel like I'm ding all the work because he just lies there now and expects me to jump on.  I've tried letting him take the lead, but he doesn't.  I've even jokingly said "why don't you be on top sometimes?"
    What can I do now?

    Answer:
    How about not telling him in that joking manner. Tell him seriously. You're not going to get him to understand unless you explain it to him. That can be with everything in a relationship. So before you guys have sex next time talk to him about it so it won't be an issue. You can tell him you want to try new positions. But dont make it sound like has done anything wrong, because he hasnt. It's not his fault that you haven't spoke your mind.

    ***********************************************

    Send your questions to:

    snippiesblog@gmail.com

    and find out what everyone thinks without them knowing its you!

    Please do NOT send me questions that you have blogged about or have posted on an ISH site!

    Please fill this out for the email:

    Age ___    M/F ___

    Also try and include as many details as you can.

    Please rec this post. It helps me get more questions.
    I can't do these post without questions.

     
    , Snippie