March 18, 2009
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Dear Snippie (How do I make my man orgasm faster?)
QUESTION:
24/fI want to know how to make my man orgasm faster? Seriously he can go for an hour without climaxing. I have talked to him about it and we have tried different positions but nothing seems to be working. It's actually causing sex to be very painful for me. And now I am dreading making love to him.
ANSWER:
Well, I'm not a guy so I had to do some research to get you some answers. Also make sure you are using a lube so that you don't get too dry. That could be causing some of the pain.
Here are some things that I found.
Play with his perineum
If you haven't discovered the erotic potential of his perineum yet - that's the area between his scrotum and anus - then another treat's in store. You can press, lick, stroke and tease this area, right up to his anus, and increase his sexual excitement enormously.
Play with his balls
Because men are so penis-centred, they and their partners tend to forget how sensitive and erotic his scrotum and testicles can be. Play with his balls as you give him fellatio, for example, and he'll be in heaven. You could even try taking one at a time into your mouth and gently rolling it around.
Talk dirty as you make love
A lot of women are too inhibited to talk dirty during sex, but I'd say most men like it - a lot.
If you want more examples this is where I found the information.
http://www.eioba.com/a31444/thirty_one_tips_for_women_to_make_sex_great_for_men
UPDATED
Can you please explain to the readers this (about my question):
I have severe uterine and cervical problems. He knows this and wants to make me as happy and satisfied as I can be. He is a wonderful man. The painful sex is not the cause of "lack of lubrication.
We do not use any protection because I am now unable to have children.
I have tried many things to try to make him climax faster.
He has ALWAYS been a very long "climaxer".
We are both avoiding sex for a while (yes we talked it over). Maybe a little abstinence will make him climax a litter faster?***********************************************Send your relationship and sex questions to:
dearsnippie@gmail.com
Find out what everyone thinks without them knowing its you! Please DO NOT send me questions that you have blogged about or have posted on an ISH site!
Include Ages, M/F, with as many details as you can for all people involved.
What do you think?
Comments (46)
At almost 40, I just want to know, why would you want to make him do the big O "faster". There's much to be said about stamina and patience on a womans part. When he starts going in 10 minutes and less...you will wonder why in the world you thought too much about 60 minutes.lube up--go slower and enjoy the ride. ;o) **falling on the floor over 60 minutes**..60 whole minutes?
i think there are easier answers too. scratch his back, pull his hair, get loud? or best yet, use the entire bag of tricks!
REALLY?
Isn't it usually the other way around?
@ShamelesslyRed - lol I agree!
Yeah, I'm thinking you shouldn't want him to be faster. Unless you're trying to have quickies but that doesn't sound like the case. If it's the pain you're trying to avoid, go with Snippies advice and use lube, don't try to make it end faster.
Like shamelesslyred said, one day you're going to regret wishing that.
Sounds like good advice.
i think your advice is dead on. but idk y she wants sex over with quickly........
great advice.. but why would anyone want to shorten sex?! hahaha
Talking dirty always helps when you need it to be over quickly, or so I find xD
Good advice!
Snippies advice is great (like usual!). The only thing I would highlight is not to forget the importance of foreplay. That stimulation before he ever penetrates can be enough to keep it shorter so that it wont become painful.
Dont be afraid to try to find his triggers - things that put it over the top for him. Everyone has some, you just have to figure out what they are. Use those only when you are ready for him to orgasm so that they arent overused and become less effective.
If he wears a condom, it's likely that's the problem. If he has been circumsized, he's already lost significant nerves where it counts and covering them with rubber only makes it worse.
You could also tighten yourself. That might help.
@ShamelesslyRed - You crack me up, mainly because that was my reaction too.
Haha! A woman who actually wants a man to climax faster! Now I've heard it all!
But seriously, the lube is a sure shot for reducing the pain. Also, maybe take a look at the overall lovemaking experience... Is there foreplay involved? Changing of positions during a session? Sometimes the variety can help build excitement which can push him to climax. And yeah, talking dirty can be majorly effective. Thankfully, I'm not a quick shooter either, and many of these tactics help if we're trying for a quickie. Otherwise, my wife thoroughly enjoys not feeling rushed in order to keep up with a pre-ej. 
Hey, I don't like long drawn out sex either.
Make sure it's just regular lube and not desensitizing lube. That'll just make matters worse.
Is he purposefully making it last 60 minutes or is it that he has trouble climaxing? For instance, is he thinking about something else rather than focusing on the two of you?
@bosefius - I've gotten close to 60 minutes but damn if I'm not wrecked for day afterwards.
Oh hell #19 is an absolute MUST for everyone.
@SladeTheGreyFox - I got close to 60 minutes, if you add it all up
@bosefius - @SladeTheGreyFox - omg just get out the measuring tape and get it over with already!
@DearSnippie - @SladeTheGreyFox - Why? He'd win, easily. Or so I've heard
I'm sure you've heard of desensitizing creams for men with the opposite problem... likewise, there are creams that can be used to make things more sensitive. Just test it on a different area of skin first... allergies could be an issue.
Other than that, it could be an issue with when the last time he came was. Keep him on task and make sure he doesn't masturbate or anything for as long as possible before sex. You could also use lots of foreplay on him before hand, getting him a little closer to that climax before you start.
Best of luck!
@DearSnippie - Would you be officiating said measuring contest?
work the jaw muscles quicker....
but yeah, louder moans definitely help, but it depends on the guy at the end...
D
hey this morning at 5 AM I had sex..I was unable to drop or reach climax because I have sex all the nights and i think there are not many sperm left.
So I think the man must ran out of sperm. Suggestion is drink alot of milk to make more.
Yeah, first instinct: Why do you want him to finish faster?
Second instinct: *awkward pause*
Third instinct: Why do you want him to finish faster?
All great advice! I like the part about the woman actually being assertive, and talking dirty. It would also be good for her to initiate sex once in awhile.
By nagging less
My advice is this:
Talk to him to find out if he's more of a visual person or the type for feeling. If he's visual, find out what turns him on the most. If he likes feeling... then do all said above.
Most men are visual. Try role playing, try all kinds of positions (there's a lot out there, buy a book).
My initial reaction was like everyone else, however I can truly understand her position.
There are actually men that take longer than women? Well shoot a monkey, that's a new one on me!
There, I answered one of your Dearsnippie questions...I guess it wasn't really and answer, oh wait, you did just say comment, so there I commented
@ShamelesslyRed - You said it! =D
Hahaha! Now that is very informative!
I like your new layout - very purple-ly!
why the HELL would she want him to finish faster?
Ok, that aside try lube, like most people have suggested. I would also invest in cosmo's Karma Sutra book, or any for that matter. Try different positions.
@Garistotle - LMBO
I have no advice for this one, but everyone else seemed to cover it!
@ShamelesslyRed - Exactly. During sex, they say it is polite if the woman cums first. But if he can't get it, either you can take it as it is, or perhaps question what does make him cum to you.
Or just accept that the man has sexual stamina to boot. In which case, you should be quite the lucky one. Heehee!
Shoot. An hour?! That's crazy.
However, I feel that would be much better than going for less than 10 minutes, which is usually where we land. Sometimes I would be thankful if my husband would take it slow.
oh my god. i wish my boyfriend had this problem.
@Garistotle - Exactlyyyy...i totally agree (maybe she's late for an important appointment? idk ;P)
Yes, man sometime can last longer than woman. After a while the female just dry up. The pain and hurt come in but still the male want his O regardless.
- Try foreplay or longer foreplay.
- If you and your man are open sexually, role play.
- Allot of people said "sound" but some guys when they having sex their head is at some other place or with somebody else. "IT NOT CHEATING". See if your partner is mentally with you or somewhere else.
- Last, you can hold both of his hand. One to the beast the other too the ......
Hope that help =)
lol good advice it seems like it is not really a thing woman want, bu also she want to see what really turns him on and focus on that also making the foreplay last longer, that way the sex won't but he will still get max pleasure.
"Talking dirty"---ha.
Why do all guys like that?!
be sexier.
Good thankx for that.
with the update - I supposed just do a lot of other things to pleasure him before he actually goes in... that will definitely shorten it, but you gotta make sure you get some pleasure too.. so don't make it TOO short!
It sounds to me like you're concentrating too much on climaxing - why not enjoy sex for being together?? If the goal is climax, then jerk him off or give him oral, then it won't be painful for you.
Why not give a blowjob or handjob prior to sex to get him close to climax (he can do it himself if need be) and initiate a short period of intercourse when he's close enough for your satisfaction?
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