March 20, 2009
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Dear Snippie (I’m in a love triangle)
QUESTION:
I’m a 17 year old male. This is a really complicated and intertwined story so I’m going to add facts here and there in parentheses.Alright. So I met this girl last year, she happened to be in my math class. My first impression was that she was totally bitchy and fake like the rest of the people at my school. (That’s another story) Anyways, a friend of mine knew her and I was introduced to her (Officially) sometime in October(?). It wasn’t until around Christmas time that she approached me and started talking to me. At first I didn’t really take notice, but after awhile I began to become deeply engaged in our conversations. It was never anything specific, but it was time worth spent. She was DEFINITELY not the kind of girl i thought she was; she’s extremely artistic and funny and quite smart too. The conversations would last at least an hour if not more. We even went for ice cream one day. She ended up having to leave early so i walked up to the top of Montgomery Hill (Its a great park where you can watch the sunset.) and she called me telling me how sorry she was for ditching me. She ended up asking me if i could meet her at a nearby elementary school. Of course I met her there and had a brilliant time. (Just talking, again. Nothing else.)
Then some of my past came back to bite me in the ass; A previous girl (Lets call “girl1″)whom I was also interested before (Things ended well so we were still friends) started asking if I liked this new girl. I denied it because 1) it was really to soon to say anything and i knew girl1 would tell her and 2) I didn’t want any drama.
Girl1 ended up talking to her anyways, telling her to stay away from me. Naturally, I was pissed and called girl1 to yell at her. The first call I hung up after a few minutes because i knew i would burn a bridge I didn’t want to. So i calmed my self and called her back. Girl1 said that she was trying to look out for me because she believed this new girl was leading me on. Girl1 one said that she asked her and she said she didn’t see me that way.
I felt devastated. But I still didn’t want to believe it, not from girl1. I thought she was just jealous. So I called the new girl like a dozen times but she didn’t pick up, obviously she knew what was going on.
So i waited for her outside of her art class like I usually do. She came out and acted surprised to see me there. Then she acted like normal, but I felt like girl1 had ruined it and I didn’t want to let go there. So I pulled her aside and confessed my feelings towards her. She stood there quiet for the most part. I asked her how she felt but she didn’t really give me a straight forward answer. I didn’t want to alienate her so I told her she could think about it and we could talk later.
That conversation never came.
She did ask me over AIM if I was mad at her that same day. I told her no and we had one of our usual conversations. It was about a week or so before things weren’t awkward and we started talking again. It still feel some distance between me and her because she no longer waits for me after my last period and our lack of conversation when we are in big groups, but when we are alone we talk each other’s heads off.
So I don’t know what happened. Did she mis-interpret my “confession”? Does she not want to go anywhere forward, but still wants to be friends? She let me walk her home a few days ago.
I’m really lost.ANSWER:
Honestly, the only person who can answer that question is Girl 2. But I’ll try and help. Just talk with her. Tell her how you feel. Maybe write her a note. Obviously she has now gotten over what girl 1 has said. Maybe when you talked to her in school it was just too soon, after what girl 1 had said to her. I think you might have a chance but you’ll never know unless you pursue it. Stay away from Girl 1. She sounds like trouble. Good luck and let us know how it goes.***********************************************Send your relationship and sex questions to:
dearsnippie@gmail.com
Find out what everyone thinks without them knowing its you! Please DO NOT send me questions that you have blogged about or have posted on an ISH site!
Include Ages, M/F, with as many details as you can for all people involved.
What do you think?
Comments (9)
1) I wouldn’t trust anything that Girl1 says because she was personally involved with you, went behind your back, and told this new girl to stay away from you. That’s not only untrustworthy, that’s rude. She’s treating you like you’re a child and can’t make decisions for yourself.
2) I’m glad you are mature enough to realize when your temper might burn a bridge.
3) Hate to say it, but this new girl doesn’t seem to feel the same way, at least not yet. You expressed your feelings so now she knows exactly how you feel, but she didn’t reciprocate by telling you anything. If she had feelings, I’m guessing she would’ve been relieved and willing to open up too, but she didn’t talk about it again. I could be wrong though, maybe Snippie is right and it was just too soon to say.
4) I’m glad you two are still friends and not awkward now, though.
wow. i couldn’t even read that whole thing after i read “girl1.”
seriously?
Damn dude. Hate hate hate these kinda situations. UGH. Mixed messages… are…… NOT fun.
I think that Girl1 is bad news as well: She went behind your back and did something that you didn’t want her to do. Even if she really was looking out for you, that was an invasion of your privacy.
And I’ll be honest, I don’t think Girl2 has feelings for you, but that’s not to say she never will. You really just need to talk to her, I think. And if she keeps avoiding it or is reluctant to say anything, take that as a sign, man. If she doesn’t want to work it out, she’s not worth your time.
Good luck.
No advice I can give here…
All I can say is THANK GOD i’m not in High School anymore.
Yeesh…
@nothingbeast - lol I’m beating A LOT of people are saying that too.
I agree girl 1 is bad news. I don’t know about the second. Gut level I would say she does not have feelings for you. Girls seem to be so oblivious about putting a guy out of their misery when they confess something like that. My son is 14 and has had a similar situation. Good luck.
Girl1 isn’t a good friend. She’d tell you to be careful rather than drive the “new girl” away like she did and behind your back too. That’s like double betrayal. She’s jealous that you now have a new interest. Maybe she’s hoping you two could get back together? I don’t know I’m not her. But distance yourself from her. Is your friendship with her really worth having a chance with any girl whether it be this “new girl” or some other girl? She seems to be the jealous ex who will ruin any relationship (potential relationships even) that you might have because things didn’t work out with her and she wants you back and would do anything to get you back. I don’t know, maybe that’s over the top, but she still doesn’t seem to be a good friend doing what she did.
The question that was asked is the wrong question. Sounds to me like the relationship (whatever it was at the beginning) was poisoned by the lie that came at the beginning. A lie between three people who probably have no business actually being in a relationship of any kind at this point.