April 24, 2009
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Dear Snippie ( My boyfriend can’t orgasm )
QUESTION:
21/f
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a long time and we decided to finally have sex. We have always been incredibly sexual with one another, he never fails to get me off and vice versa…but when we have had actual intercourse, he can’t orgasm. Do you have any advice for me that may help him? anything special I can do to make it easier?ANSWER:
I wish I knew how long you two have been having sex or how many times because to me it sounds like you just started. Which makes me feel that he was probably just nervous. Sometimes when men have other things on their mind, are just nervous or stressed they have trouble finishing. Try helping him relax and show him there’s no pressure. I don’t feel as though it’s anything wrong with him physically.
Send your SEX questions to:
dearsnippie@gmail.comInclude Ages & M/F
Please rec
this post.
The more recs I get, the more questions I get to answer.
Thanks
, Snippie
Comments (25)
orrrr… maybe he masturbates too often.. and his body isn’t really used to the feel of having real sex.
if he is using condoms he might want to switch them.. some reduce sensation greatly. could be mental too.
@Kontzicles - /win
@Kontzicles - @Paul_Partisan - good points. thanks you
@epitomeof_aberrance - Larry.. HOW is that a win?!?!
@Kontzicles - lol I was agreeing with the point you made. YOU win…not him….he loses….lol
I wish to redirect you to my blog here, which might contain your answer:
http://abilene-piper-lg.xanga.com/699748071/book-review-sex-as-nature-intended-it/
(Read specifically my responses to some of the comments as it goes into more elaborate detail).
This looks like it needs a rec. I don’t really have any insight to this, however.
The day I lost my virginity was a long one. We later figured out that it took me over 4 hours to orgasm. We realized later it was do to being overtly engorged and some of it was nerves as well. To this day, I have times when I still experience this.
If he is one of these men that actually try to slow down and help you get there first, i can see where he might have trouble; he is constantly on the brink and having to pull back, and i can tell you from experience when you finally allow yourself to climax it ain’t there. Running man’s talking about the same thing. I sugest that after you climax he simply withdraws for a few minutes and then starts again. That always worked for me.
maybe he’s taking some sort of medication that could be preventing him from reaching an orgasm.
or maybe he just has too much stamina. haha
What @Kontzicles said. Get him to lay off the masturbating.
@Kontzicles - Hmmm! Good point…
Yeah, I’d say Kontzicles is right. Those two factors will definitely inhibit the male orgasm when paired together.
@Kontzicles -
@RaaChenn - I am not sure it is the same thing. I do understand about the slowing down. What I am talking about can be painful but has no relationship to slowing down and waiting. Slightly similar experience to morning “wood” and a really full bladder. There is physical blockage.
I remember when I lost my virginity it took me forever to come. I guess he’s just nervous.
Penetrative intercourse feels different to masturbation. It’s usually less intense, and a condom can drastically reduce the degree of sensation for the male. Sometimes if the male is accustomed to rigorous masturbation to climax, his body will have difficulty climaxing when engaging in less intense sexual activity – the penis becomes desensitized.
Some things you may want to try:
1) Using thinner condoms. Thinner varieties of condoms are usually available to maximize sensation for both partners. They are also tested to the same standards as ordinary condoms, so even though they are thinner, they are still as strong and equally reliable.
2) Make sure the condom is well lubricated and rolled all the way to the base of the penis. Sometimes if condoms are not properly worn they can loosen around the head and cause a reduction in sensation.
3) Reduce the regularity of masturbation to increase the penises sensitivity towards penetrative sex.
4) Make sure you’re not mentally or physically exhausted. Sex consumes a lot of energy, and driving yourself towards a climax is sometimes impossible when you just don’t feel like you have the stamina for it.
5) Try different positions. Some positions are better for stimulating the female, whereas others are better for the man. Find out what works best for you.
Best of luck!
@Kontzicles - In that case, I’d suggest to keep beating it (I mean, actual intercourse) until he does orgasm. Sometimes, it could take long to orgasm.
Definitely get him to cut down on masturbating … use different positions. If you’re the one taking the action rather than giving it… force him to take it… meaning YOU give it. or vice versa.
Trying getting him horny and ready for action before jumping into sex. Foreplay… oral sex… hand/blow jobs… get him worked up if you’re not doing that.
If you’re doing it with condoms, maybe that’s the issue. Try a different brand, or if it’s an option, stop using them altogether and use a different contraceptive instead. (Just make sure you’re both tested for STDs first.)
…
If he doesn’t masturbate for a week he may find it easier I dunno
another thing is that he takes a little longer to finish, so just start him off with a hj or bj for a few minutes and then have sex.