April 13, 2009
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The Best of Dear Snippie
Dear Snippie #35 (Is watching porn cheating?)
Question:
Dear Snippie,
I found out that my husband looks at porn when I’m not around. This really makes me feel insecure because I can never compete with the girls he’s looking at. Is this considered cheating? How should I handle it without embarrassing him or me?”Answer:
I understand how you feel. I once had a boyfriend do this to me too. I don’t mind porn but I do mind when you hide it and pretend you weren’t looking at it when you were. I think as long as the guy is honest about looking at it it’s fine. There’s no reason to be insecure about your man watching porn. He’s with you and loves you. I don’t believe this is cheating at all. I think talking to him about it in a nice way and just letting him know how you feel is the way to go. Let him know that you feel insecure. Maybe he can help you feel better by reassuring you . But communication is the key.
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Comments (8)
I think porn is gross and inappropriate but I wouldn’t call it cheating. To me it’s a turn-off to know that a guy has an unhealthy habit like that….I guess it just depends on how often the guy watches it.
If you’re at work or he’s home alone and horny, I don’t see any problem with a boyfriend getting some “relief” from porn. It helps with the pressure (literally) and makes him feel better. If it’s taking up your time with him or preventing him from pleasing you, then it’s a problem.
i say watch porn with your bf and attempt the acts..
I don’t watch porn, I don’t know if my SO does. I wouldn’t consider it cheating; I would be much more upset if he was even flirting with a girl in real life, lol. At the same time, I wish he’d come to me when he was in the mood rather than look at online sites
Perhaps introduce that idea to your man, if you are feeling insecure?
M
Porn is fine unless, like it was said before, he is hiding it or it is taking time away from your own intimacy. It could be good to join him and maybe get ideas. And the girls in porn are fake ceyond belief and that fantasy probably can’t compare to the reality that you can offer.
no
this is definitely tough because sometimes it is..sometimes it isn’t….
If it is interfering with your sexual life and has replaced you.. then yes.. WAY BAD..
But honestly.. ALLL guys do it… i’ve yet to meet someone who doesn’t, and if they deny it.. well, then it’s a problem.
Talk about why he doesn’t want to do it with you and would prefer to do it via porn… If it’s just casual.. or everyonce inawhile.. tell him your concerns and don’t nag him.
He’s going to do what he wants. no matter what. So he’ll either do it with your knowledge and acceptance.. or without..behind your back.
That sucks…
Because it shouldn’t be that big of a deal.
Coming from a male perspective, I’m going to very honest. I think porn is trash. I’ve watched porn before and I have no taste for it. I would never want my girlfriend to be any one of those lasses you see in porn.
@Kontzicles - Wrong.