WATCH PART 2 HERE

Question:
Age:22  F
Dear Snippie,
I’ve just come across your site on xanga and thought maybe you could help me with this…
My boyfriend and I have gotten to the sexual stage of the relationship.  So, we’ve had a talk and everything was fine, we even mentioned different positions and such.  We shared our favorite positions and his was the girl being on top.  He told me that it takes him a long time to orgasm when he’s on top, so I told him that I like being on top sometimes… so that was kinda fab.
But now, I’m constantly there… even when it starts off with him on top… we end up switching places.  I’m having thoughts on whether he is even able to orgasm when he’s on top.  Also, not only being on top I feel like I’m ding all the work because he just lies there now and expects me to jump on.  I’ve tried letting him take the lead, but he doesn’t.  I’ve even jokingly said “why don’t you be on top sometimes?”
What can I do now?

Answer:
How about not telling him in that joking manner. Tell him seriously. You’re not going to get him to understand unless you explain it to him. That can be with everything in a relationship. So before you guys have sex next time talk to him about it so it won’t be an issue. You can tell him you want to try new positions. But dont make it sound like has done anything wrong, because he hasnt. It’s not his fault that you haven’t spoke your mind.

Send your questions to:

snippiesblog@gmail.com

and find out what everyone thinks without them knowing its you!

Please do NOT send me questions that you have blogged about or have posted on an ISH site!

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Age ___    M/F ___

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, Snippie

Here’s the original post CLICK HERE

Snippy,

You asked me for an update to my dilemma with my husband, whom I caught doing inappropriate things both on the net and with pictures he had secretly taken of me. Well…. Here is an update so far. However,  I wanted to clarify a few things with the readers. Porn, together we agreed was perfectly fine. It got out of hand with him… and since I could no longer really have sex (pregnant and 4 herniated disks in my back) I asked him to sort of cut back on it cause it was making me very uneasy with the massive amounts of it he looked at daily. It wasn’t like the other forms of pleasure were not still taking place either… just less often. Up until four months into my pregnancy we had threesomes, both with female and male counterparts. We agreed to only do that while together and it was obvious after I gained x amount of lbs and for the health of me and the baby, it was no longer a good idea to invite those friends into the relationship (bedroom) We still remain great friends with these people though….. Also,  NOT to mention, I did work TWO full time 8hr+ jobs during my entire pregnancy up until the 9^th month to pay for the medical expenses, getting ready for the child, and paying off consumer debt so we could manage the bills that bringing a new life into this world entails. My husband… if anything, cut back his hours.  I did not ask my husband to give up porn entirely but HE said he would. That was a promise he made to me after a discussion we had. Anyway, for those who were unclear about our view on porn etc… hope that clears the air cause I think some people really didn’t key in on what I was trying to say.

Anyway,

I was pretty dead set on divorce the first week or so. I got a lawyer lined up, got papers and a realtor, and figured out arrangements to move back home in another state. My husband made threats to take the child away, threats to take all the money etc…. I didn’t budge. Then he gave in….

As of right now, we are still living in the same house…. However he sleeps in the guest room. There is absolutely no physical contact anymore (no kissing either) and he no longer is allowed in the bathroom or bedroom when I am changing and/or showering with or without the baby. I just put back on my wedding rings and I still don’t say I love you back when he tells me he loves me.  I believe that if I start going back to a normal routine… we will just “forget” the past/ get comfortable and the changes that need to be made won’t be…. So that’s why I am keeping it uncomfortable at the moment. I people understand what I mean about the comfortable thing… its not me being immature. I love my husband but if I let him back in the bedroom etc…. our problems will get swept under the rug…. Again.

I decided against the lie detector test as I am not sure what it would prove (it is more than just testing someone’s hr response contrary to popular belief)  and the money should be going to my kid’s birthday, not that. I just can’t take that away from my child, its not fair.

We are making a continuous effort not to fight in front of our son. We don’t fight much anyway because we don’t talk much.

He got counseling sessions lined up nearly three days after I caught him and has been to two sessions so far. He deleted all those secret email accounts and says he is getting rid of his myspace, facebook, etc. which I will believe it when I see it. He had be put parental controls on the computer that is password protected.

I changed my passwords to ALL my internet accounts and have been making small transfers of money into my personal account should he decide to be stupid and try to cut my access off to my hard earned money.

As of yesterday, I decided I would try counseling before finalizing a divorce. I don’t want to “work” on a marriage for ten years but at the same time I don’t want to just up and leave without a fight. We have not got marriage counseling dates set yet but will soon. I am only giving it about 3 months and if nothing changes drastically, and he doesn’t come clean about everything, we are done.

In my mind he cannot blame a lack of sex life on Craig’slist Personal ads, secret myspace account, etc. There were plenty of ametur pictures on there that he didn’t need to talk to them… His direct response to me questioning the need to talk to girls “It was more arousing to know they were taking the pictures for me… and not just some bots, it was like the excitement of it all.”  Just thinking about it now makes me wanna chop off his balls all over again and feed it to his audience.

I am not prude…. I taught him TONS of things he couldn’t even dream up in the sack, and I am his first in many things… so variety is NOT the issue, at least variety with being in a monogamous relationship with occasional consented extras. I don’t know what it is, but he walked a fine line with what he has done and he isn’t getting by with just saying sorry this time. There were long discussions before all this happened and VERY clear boundaries set. There was no gaps or misleading loose terms that could be left up to interpretation. He knows it, I know it… and that is why he is acting the way he is… He stated there are problems in our marriage that led him to what he did, and that is the lamest excuse I have ever heard.

Where I stand now… I am giving marriage counseling a try but if I find my heart not being forgiving, I am going through with the divorce. Honestly, I am not going to go easy on him during the sessions and I honestly don’t think my opinion is going to change much cause in some of these instances this would not be his second or third chance to improve his behavior.

I know that sounded so confrontational… I am still just so unnerved by it all…. I am over the shock and initial poor me phase.

Thanks for all the advice snippy and readers, some people actually opened my eyes, others made me roll them. Ha.

Question:
19 female i have this friend i think he likes me but im not sure he told me that he doesnt want a relationship because hes married but his signals say something else he smiles when he sees me when we talk he locks eyes for like 2 minutes and looks away and looks at me he did that the whole time we were talking i think he was blushing a little but he wearing a red shirt so its hard to say lol and i think he was looking at my boobs and my legs i noticed how his eyes wondered when i talked to him he even said one time when i was playing around saying sorry for the hard time and he said with a smile and a look ”its okay i gave you a hard time back” i like him but i dont know what hes doing maybe he doesnt want to hurt me i dont know can you help me put together the missing pieces

Answer:
STOP! Do not even think about liking this man. He is married. If you have to, stay away from him to get over him. But do not even think about getting with him. So it doesn’t even matter if you he likes you. He is off the market and you should know better! There are plenty of single men out there that you could find for yourself.

Send your questions to:

snippiesblog@gmail.com

and find out what everyone thinks without them knowing its you!

Please do NOT send me questions that you have blogged about or have posted on an ISH site!

Please fill this out for the email:

Age ___    M/F ___

Also try and include as many details as you can.

Please rec this post. It helps me get more questions.

 
, Snippie

I’m gonna start spreading Xanga love.  So I did something crazy. I unblocked all my haters. So my blog is open to everyone now.

Say what you want. I’m over it. It hurt at first because I had never had someone speak such hate at me before. Now I’m over it. I feel so much better. I feel stronger. I can now read those mean things and it doesn’t even faze me. So I want to thank all the people who said all those mean things. For making me stronger.

Thank you to all those people who support me and have so in the past few days. You guys rock!

Love you all, Snippie

and be happy this isnt you!

Question:
M, 23

Dear Snippie,

LTR, FTW (Long Time Reader, First Time Writer)

My girlfriend and I have been together for four years, with plans in the works to make that forever. We’ve been having sex for the last three years, and our sex life is pretty wonderful. It’s gotten even better in the last six months since she moved in with me. But lately it seems a sexual issue I’ve had forever is starting to bother her.

Now most women would be elated that their man can last in bed for hours. But my girlfriend sometimes gets upset that I nearly always get her off, but I rarely do. Most of the time when we have sex I don’t orgasm. It just takes me a very long time to reach climax, and it will rarely happen until 20+ minutes of sex. I don’t have any other problems in that department.

I’ve tried most drugs people use to improve their sex lives, including Viagra and an assortment of less-than-legal drugs. Nothing seems to work. I’m not bothered by this phenomenon, I enjoy having sex for as long as possible… for me it is not the means to an end. But my girlfriend is starting to develop a bit of a complex about the issue, worrying that it is her fault. No matter how much I try to tell her this is not the case, she still takes this issue personally.

Please help, Snippie (and readers), my girlfriend’s sanity may lie in your hands

Answer:
First off, stop taking Viagra. That is suppose to help you get an erection and it seems you dont have that problem. If you don’t mind not finishing then I think you really need to explain this to your GF. You need to help her understand this like you did here. Not while you are having sex but before. Sit down and talk with her. Discuss the issue. That way she’ll will be more comfortable with it and realize that it’s not her. She might even want to discuss some things that you would like for her to do to you. Thing that could help you orgasm. Enjoy those 20 minutes or more. Let her know to just enjoy and not worry about the outcome.

Send your questions to:

snippiesblog@gmail.com

and find out what everyone thinks without them knowing its you!

Please do NOT send me questions that you have blogged about or have posted on an ISH site!

Please fill this out for the email:

Age ___    M/F ___

Also try and include as many details as you can.

Please rec this post. It helps me get more questions.

 
, Snippie

Question:

UPDATE
Read these comments!!! They are awesome so far

Send your questions to:

snippiesblog@gmail.com

and find out what everyone thinks without them knowing its you!

Please do NOT send me questions that you have blogged about or have posted on an ISH site!

Please fill this out for the email:

Age ___    M/F ___

Also try and include as many details as you can.

Please rec this post. It helps me get more questions.

 
, Snippie