January 6, 2009
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Nasty People
My first day back to work was good. It was nice to get up at a normal hour and get out of the house. So It’s been super busy and super hectic. The only thing that I didn’t miss are the crabby people. Why do people automatically assume, when they call you, you’re going to be a bitch to them. It’s so uncool. I am the sweetest person when people call my office and there are these regular people who call in and are just so nasty! I try and stay sweet and calm but it’s really hard when they are the same way every single time you talk to them.
One of these days I’m gonna lose it and just go off, I know it. And I won’t be sorry! I’ll just blog about it.
Do you ever deal with nasty people at work? How do you handle them?
Comments (110)
Sometimes my kids are nasty does that count?
Hubby has the most remarkable way of dealing with people, he just says really calm, but firm and asks them direct questions, like are you having a bad day sir because you seem to be agressive with me….. he is so sweet, it almost drips from him, but before long the people realize he is not the issue.
Anyway, I hope it gets better for you soon.
I have nasty people around me a lot and I try to be who I am no matter how they treat me,I do not let them rattle me.No power for them over me.
@wherever_we_go - he does that at his job?
In one ear and out the other, is how i deal with them.
eventually I’ll go home and make a private rant in my journal or blog. .
Thats my sappy way at getting even.
Ever see Ally Mcbeal? you know how she gets those devious thoughts….lol. well thats the story of my life.
Well I do everyday at work
One lady I remember quite well, was trying to get a fish that was way too big for her tank (I work at PetSmart), and I told her that I would reccomend a different fish because that one was too big, and before she let me finish she said “Just give me the damn fish. I’ve been here 3 times and no one would give me it and I just want the fuckin fish!” I had to walk away, and tell another associate to help her. There’s just no reason to act like that.
There were some regulars that were like that when they came into the grocery store. They always gave me a hard time and were always miserable and unpleasant. Everything was always MY fault, even though I was only doing my job and trying to keep the customers happy. It was difficult for me to hold my tongue, but I always remained very nice and personable. Afterall, the customer is ALWAYS right, even when they’re not. My bosses knew the crap I put up with and usually came around when they did and backed me up. Whenever they would shoot something negative at me, they would shoot back with a positive comment. Not at them, of course. They’d usually keep a big smile on their face, comment me, and keep their eyes on the customer. I think it seemed to annoy the customer more, but it made me giggle.
maybe they can’t hear themselves
I get that almost everyday at my job, and all I can do is grin swallow hard and bear it. Although, I, much like you, feel like one of these days I am going to go off on one of those “nasty people”.
When I had a summer job at Dunkin Donuts, people were rude pretty often. When I snapped back at the people who were rude, they were pretty shocked. The manager never said anything to me about it. haha.
I used to get nasty people calling me all the time at work(I don’t work right now). I worked at an answering service and there was a specific set of things I had to say and ask before I could tell them the person they wanted wasn’t available. They always screamed at me for wasting so much of their time. It seriously made me not want to send their messages.
I dont’ work but when nasty people call me, I say “Excuse me a moment”
“@$#@%#$^$#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
And when they hear me, they’ll rethink a few things and ask what’s wrong and I’ll say “Sorry it wasn’t at you….”
And they stay cheery in fear of me ‘saying it to them…’
@Shavanna - I’m gonna try that next time LOL
I don’t happen to call people at work because I fear that they are going to yell at me. For whatever reason.
I let it all fester inside me as a mental illness.
BTW, Your Alice in Wonderland profile is beyond badass.
I used to run a customer service counter at a grocery store for 6 years, so I’ve dealt with the crabbiest people out there. I’ve learned there like any other customer and that there human. Also worked at a call center answering phones from college students who had computer problems, and they weren’t as bad but some were ridiculous.
I just put on a smile and imagine maybe this is my big opportunity today to make a difference. I don’t treat crabby people as a nuisance, there just another customer or person who happen to be having a bad day, week or month.
@sarahb_86 - Thanks
I always talked about them after I hung up the phone or they left! (Not exactly the best way to deal with it, but it worked for me!) they can be infuriating!
@SnippiesBlog - No problem.
I don’t currently have a job because I’m a student, but I bet it does stink to have people be so rude to you all of the time.
Confusion is the best solution. Act mental, haha. You could say hi in the middle of a conversation? (:
I’m a salesperson, and {as much as I Hate it} have gotten Really good at that horroble fake smile. But also I make those little comments in which I am being very polite yet actually insulting them. It’s fun.
If you know the people to whom you are talking, find out what you can about the person. Then ask him/her a question about something you know they can answer. F’rinstance, if they like to eat out a lot, ask if they know a good new restaurant in their part of town. Just be sure that they can indeed help with whatever question you come up with. I don’t know why this works, maybe because they feel good about themselves for being helpful.
@DearRicky - haha
@IrresistibleInsomnia - teach me!
@SnippiesBlog - Grin and make allusions to things, inside jokes. It’s extremely fun. assuming the person your talking to isn’t astronomically smart you can say pretty much anything, so long as you smile.
@IrresistibleInsomnia - haha well smiling wont help me over the phone.
I tell them:’We’re both adults here. I’m here to help you, but in order for me to do that, you need to speak to be respectfully.’
What is worse is the people who are indirectly or passive-aggressive nasty! UGH!
@Wacky_Confessional - omg yes!!
I ignore everybody. They think I’m retarded, and I’d like to keep it that way. They’re having two PT tests back-to-back just for me. Thank God.
@SnippiesBlog - XD right, oops
Haha, as a housewife my recent clients are a little less rational nowadays
Before I quit my job, though, I dealt with lots of grumpity grumps at my desk. My husband and I actually use the phrase “Have a nice day.” It’s code for “#$%@ You.” It comes with a wave and an “enzyte” smile.
I try to remember that how I feel (happy, sad, angry, or whatever) does not depend on how other people treat me.
There are a large number of people in this world who are unhappy and they will do their best to make everyone else around them unhappy as well. If I let them succeed then it is my fault.
I am a teacher at our local high school…’nuff said!!!!!
Not anymore…but I was in the grocery business for 18 years so yeah.. I’ve had my share of nastiness.
I work in customer service where people do nothing but complain, about how fast it takes to take thier order, run thier order, how fast or how cold it is, thier coffee is too hot, etc etc etc….it drives me insane! What my first boss taught me was getting the customer out the door and using as much nice language you can is the best revenge because if they are in a bad mood, they want to spread thier bad mood to others. I also use the “for every nice thing I say to you is like I’m telling you to get the hell out of my restaurant” thing that makes me feel better. Sometimes you make someone else’s day, sometimes you piss them off more. But you can never get a complaint about it if you work it right!
@carriesplace - great advice! thanks for the mini!
@valis10 - very true! thanks for the good advice
i have a part time job in retail. i deal with nasty people all the time. its fun though i just laugh. its usually because they think theyre smarter then us. but really theyre not. i just smile and make nice little comments at them while theyre screaming.. it usually just makes them more mad, and its usually funnier.
Some people just love being mean. I remember one day at my summer job they had me come in early because most everyone else had to go to some work ethics seminar. I had to cover all the tills, the entire floor and the phone. Needless to say I was a bit freaked out, espically since no one had told me that everyone else would be missing. The phone rang I answered and was being polite, listening to what she wanted and then asked her to hold on for a moment, I ran into the stock room to ask some of the few remaining people about some stuff I knew nothing about. I ent up running around everywhere and she completly bit my head off. Ugh that was the worst day ever…
@DearRicky - lol That is such a great idea!
haha i too just got back recently from vacation in the middle of december, and like you, the nasty people killed my coming back experience. it usually depends how i feel. if im tired or lazy, ill just let them say their part, look at them as if they are stupid, and fix the problem so they can just leave. if i have the energy, i won’t yell or snap back, i’ll play games. laughing at them, making them feel like the stupid ones, and doing it all with a smile so sometimes, the dumb girl with a complicated order doesn’t even know im ragging on her.
I deal with nasty people at work all the time. My employees! They don’t listen. I just walk away, cool off, and come back with my head on straight.
Do I really need to answer this… Or should I assume this is meant for people who are… not me…
I don’t know exactly where you work or what type of job you have, but sometimes I get myself so riled up before I call some place and I have every intention of being mean and nasty to the person on the other end..but then she (it’s usually a woman) is so nice and helpful that I just can’t be mean to her. But when I call and expect someone to do something for me and she/he won’t and gets a ‘tude then my tudiness flows forth
You just keep being nice to people
@ginsu417 - omg, is this the real Gin? on my site? wow its been forever!! how are you?
A big stick. And an allibi.
When I go inspect someones house for their Insurance and they get rude and say I should have called to let them know I was coming…which that is the Insurance agents job, they might denigh me inspecting the house(outside, I WOULD call for interior inspections). I just tell them fine, it doesn’t matter to me, I get paid reguardless, but it would be ashame if you got your Insurance canceled because you refused it to be looked at. They usually change their tone. I REALLY like to just act dumb sometimes, or act like I can REALLY create problems for them….just depends on how UGLY they are. I usually don’t let it bug me though, I’m about as easy going as it gets. If you can’t get along with me, you REALLY have issues!
@SnippiesBlog - I always read your blog snippie-dearest.
@ginsu417 - i miss your witty and funny comments
I mess up their rent! mwahahahahaha
Not really…
i have nasty people in my family and circle of friends. Why do I do that to myself?
I didn’t answer phones when I worked, but I’ll tell you what I do when I have a complaint with a bill (customer service) before I start to bitch– I say “I know this isn’t “your” company ( insert cable company) or “your” fault…” then I go into my quiet kind of bitchin’ way about what my problem is with the situation. *wink*
@CiaoBella810 - hahaha
@NVRSAD_DAY - good question, but only you can answer that
Being a teacher…it’s dealing with nasty, ungrateful parents. It’s only maybe 1 out of 20 who do it, but still…
I read all of your blogs, and i Love them ! [=
@priincesssx3 - awww thats so sweet! thank you
As a bodyguard, I deal with nasty people all the time. I have the occasional eccentric and fussy clients as well as their homicidal “fans”.
ahhh, I just usually have them whacked.
I usually act like I have no clue what’s going on. Playing the dumb card only gets people off your case or the pompous asshole on the other side of your job to make a scene. Once they do that, everyone stares at them, not you. Remaining calm and unaffected keeps you in control.
yeah i used to work at a small restaurant a lot of the people were regulars and very nice to me, first name basis and everything then we had the occasional snobby couples to come in. unfortunately there’s not much to do it about i know you always here treat people the way you’d like to be treated but sometimes that just obviously won’t work. just keep doing what you’re doing and don’t let crabby people get to you.
leather gloves?
Pretty much EVERYBODY I work with is bitter, old, and nasty–I pretty much landed the jackpot! But I do have great job security and a lot to blog about =)
I just try to keep smiling and say something to defuse the situation.
Kathi
No problem, & one question if you don’t mind, what if you’ve been with someone for
like 7 times on and off and you want to be with them but then at the same time,
you don’t because you don’t wanna get hurt again?
i dont handle people. I hate people. I dont get along with them well and I hate them. Btw. Are u still doing Sex questions?
well how to handle rude people. tell them to piss off. If push comes to shove, take a butterfly knife to there throats and threaten them..oh. wait…uhh…
Since they’re taking their bad mood out on you, take your good mood out on them
I know it’s tough but just realize when that phone gets hung up you’re still you and some person over a phone line shouldn’t change that. I don’t really have customers in my line of work, but when I worked at a restaurant I always tried to compliment snappy people and when I worked at the UPS Store I kind of just acted like their attitude never affected me. Also (if it applies) offer them something that will piss them off but also that they wont accept – for example this one lady was all nice to me and brought us china to package up and send off. I told her it’d be a while and said she could go down the street for some food. When she returned I told her the cost and she started yelling at me and got very irritated. So I replied, in a very polite tone, “Well if it is a problem, I can just charge you for the materials and let you keep the china all packed up… although I’m not sure if it will fit in your car.” It helped me put on a smiling face 
I’m a ninja so I just kick them swiftly.
@dude_maxton - im taking a break from the sex advice right now. not sure when or if ill do it again
@OurUnspokenTrust - thank you! thats great advice
@casmarie - can i take you to work with me?
@SnippiesBlog - I have almost 13K in credits so I use them all the time…and no worries!
I break down and cry and text my friend Becca.
They probably assume that because they are crabby themselves. It’s easy to assume everyone is like them than to assume differently.
Then she comes cross country to kick some effing ass! (and have margaritas with her Texas girls)
@BarelyJen - haha love you
@SnippiesBlog - hehe, did you see the second part?!
@BarelyJen - yeehaawww…..gulp gulp
BTW, just give the good one’s a warning to clear the building before you snap on the idiots. Just a helpful tip
Cuz so many people are mean and out for themselves nowadays that finding someone who is geniunely nice is kind of a shock, which is sad but true.
my coworkers were fine, the clients….errhh…sometimes that could bbe a different story
I imagine what it would be like to punch them in the face.
@Rchick2006 - i think you’re right
@wolvenchic - exactly
@baconlicious112 - lol
@SnippiesBlog - yeah it’s sad but that’s why it’s so hard for people to surround themselves around positive people. Most people are only nice because they want something from you otherwise you just meet a whole bunch of mean, self centered people…..I hope that changes but it just gets worse over time.
Best way to deal with those people is to not given them what they want unless you absolutely have to. They’ll just do it again if they get encouragement. The customer can be a horrible tyrant when s/he knows s/he is always right or at least thinks s/he is. Power corrupts.
I deal with them, and I ignore them.
work is overrated
@CaKaLusa - not when they pay you well
The boss at my old office would make an employee cry once a week. Everyone hated him.
Just think that I’m getting paid to be bitched at! haha! plus who cares what they have to say? they don’t pay for my daily survival..
When I was working in the aquarium I use to give tours and help plp-loved my job! But sometimes the best jobs plp can make then the worse. This lady was pissed at me because one of the kids (I had to watch over 20!) I was giving the tour to step on her shoe. “You should be paying attetio to what these kids do! It’s your Job!” I wanted to yell at her so badly. The girl was 6 yrs old, and it was’nt like she planned it, it was a mistake! You go and blame it on me. Fine I’ll put up with it cause it’s my job…so I breath in and say sorry to her (be the bigger man, I say to myself, you can do it, you are in High school no more. – Reason I say this because I was walking down the stairs in HS and the principal pushed me, I almost felled! So when rused hour – time to go home- comes I triped him. He did’nt know who it was cause there were too many kids and -not kiddin- all the kids hated him, and so did all the teachers- he was just plain mean to all. Once there was this kid….never mind.. that’s another story.).
She may have had a bad day but does not mean she has to bring every down.I can’t act the way I did in HS no more. I can’t go down to there level.
Wouldn’t it be interesting to have an office full of a few cool people who blog for a living, and that be what they do when they go in for work everyday. That would be such a chill office, I wonder if they have that somewhere? The creative bounciness would be great. HAHA it could be pj to work day, everyday. . yea just my thoughts on the post.
Because I don’t have to deal with them through work I just ignore the fact that they are alive, lol, but usually I just ignore their nastiness and be nice to them. Then when they leave wish that a dog pisses on their foot later. BTW you have a really cool site.
I deal with this on a daily basis too. Makes me want to reach through the phone sometimes and show em just how much I dont appreciate the attitude or nastyness.
It’s really not people, it’s the situation. I don’t work with the public or in retail. When work is a closed circuit, like mine, people seem to be more civil.
Often like many things you just have to let it roll off you. As long as you don’t take the crabby people home, then you’re fine…
@Madgefan298 - thanks
@niki296 - me too!
@Leonidas - ok i wont take them home. hehe
The best pizza i’ve ever had was in this tiny little deli on Eastern Ave. in Baltimore. What i remember most about it was the sign no one could miss seeing when they came in.
It said what a wonderful day it was and how great just to be alive….and ended with “now watch some asshole come in here and ruin it.” —Eric
@Galileo7 - hahha i love it!!!
@Galileo7 - oh that reminds me, i use to have a sign up that said “Don’t take your bad day out on me!”
I should put that sign back up
@SnippiesBlog - anywhere and everywhere.
He is a believer in speaking the truth unemotionally and unperson ally.
He has certainly had a situation recently with an explosive co-worker, that he has had to have very frank calm discussions about his behavior and the unprofessional way he was behaving.
x
I pretend they don’t exist. I feel bad for some bitchy people. They just seem like such miserable human beings.
I dealt with nothing but nasty people at my last job… there’s pretty much nothing you can do about THEM.
Just keep being your swet self. If they don’t come around, it’s their problem. Just ignore them…
OR… if they are really nasty… quietly hang up…. “by accident”.
Hm. I happen to BE the nasty person at work because I’m the yankee that moved to Texas to work in an editing office. Everyone is very sickly-sweet and I’m the only real one! dunno what to tell you
I like the ones that sound like they ate stupid pills for breakfast
@SamsPeeps - i like that idea. and then let the voice mail pick up right?
Hapi! ^^
Word of warning… I had a string of really bad customers at work one day, then snapped when a customer came up to the till and was so rude. Turned out they were one of the country managers and I got in to massive shit. What a bitch she was rude to me first! But back to the point… You never know who they might be!
there are those old office ladies at school..
pretty snappy, I tell ya..
I just dealt with a very nasty district judge. Read this if you want to know how I handled it.