I know this is long. But he needs our help. Please take the time to read and give your opinion.

Question:
I have a weird marriage in the sex department. My wife tells me my timing is terrible.She has always said this.I figure, well, then maybe she has such great timing I’ll let her decide when because about anytime was good with me. She says she wants to be romanced. Well, I’m nit the romantic but I do pull some good ones off at times, but still it’s not good enough. I put my heart out there only to have it flushed down the toilet.There is much more I could share just of different things she’s done and maybe I’ll share them if you want to use them, but I’ve decided to just leave it to her and not even try anymore. It’s been over a year now since we had sex. I don’t think it’s my timing that is the problem.She was fine when she wanted to have kids, then when we had the number of kids she wanted it just stopped. I figure I’ll get a vasectomy and that will take care of things. Nope, that didn’t do a thing.Anyway, not sure if this is even worth you posting, but it would be interesting to see what other women think is her problem or is it just me. I’ll give you some more info if you want it. If I did her the way she does me, there would be hell to pay.

So I asked him for more information after I got that first email from him and this is what he sent.

Well, one thing she did was when we were at one of her high school reunions, she was off talking with friends. When she came back, the band was playing Unchained Melody and I thought that would be romantic to ask her to dance even though we had never really danced. She said she didn’t feel like it. I go out to talk to a friend I knew she graduated with and when I come back shes out there slow dancing with some guy. My heart sorta sank.I was back at the table when the dance was over and she says the guy asked her to dance and she didn’t even know him. I guess she thought that would make it ok, but to me that was even worse. Then a little later the band started playing the song My Girl and I see out of the corner of my eye this same guy comes over and motions for her to come dance. She does and I’m just like WOW! If I did that she would have HIT THE ROOF. Well, she comes back and says, “you should go out there and dance” and wondered what was wrong with me.I said “I ask you to dance and you didn’t want to,how do you expect me to feel when you dance with someone else” Well, I ruined HER High School reunion by acting that way. That was about 9 years ago and I have slowly gotten to where I don’t really much care anymore but I’ll never leave her. She has yet to think she did anything wrong. I have a reunion coming up that I am going to be VERY tempted to find someone to dance with, but I’m just not like that. There are so many things she does that she thinks I’m stupid I guess and don’t think for myself, I guess thats because she’s almost 9 years older than me.
In regard to sex, whenever we did have it, I would always make sure she had an orgasm before I started in.I enjoyed that better than one myself and I loved LOTS of foreplay.I guess it was like I wanted to play too long, but when you only do it 1 to 3 times a month, you want to drain it for all it’s worth.I guess over the last 3 to 4 years I have not once felt she WANTED to have sex. It’s why I watch movies with these sex scenes and hear people talk about it and I just say “yeah right” I’ve never seen it that way. I don’t know what of this you can use, maybe you can use it somehow, I don’t how you would word it. My wife does care about me, I just don’t think shes ever been inlove with me. She had come off a divorce and had a child and I think I was just the first nice guy that came along. I was blinded by the love I felt for her. Not long after we were married she’d told me she couldn’t tell me she loved me because she wasn’t sure how she felt about me and it wasn’t fair to tell me when she wasn’t sure. Oh, and we had to get married because I got her pregnant. We went 15 years before she ever told me she loved me and now it’s just words. Anyway, I think thats enough for you to make a pretty juicy post, I guess I’d rather you didn’t use my xanga name even though that one nobody knows about and I just use to vent now. If you read the post up now and the song I have playing you will understand.

Answer:
I know this really isn’t about the sex. I really only answer sex questions. But for some reason this situation struck a cord in me and I felt I needed to help. I guess my main question for this man is why is he still married. Why put yourself through the torture of being unhappy. I got pregnant at 18 and married the father. I was not in love with him. I don’t know if he was in love with me. Somehow I doubt it. So we were married for 3 years and had 2 kids. We rarely had sex. I couldn’t stand for him to kiss me let alone have sex with me. So after 3 years of marriage I decided not to torture us any longer and I asked for a divorce. He hated me at the time but I’m sure he’s grateful now because he has remarried and has had another child with a woman he loves. He’s in our childrens life and is a wonderful father to them.

So you can hold grudges and put yourself through these situations and say I’ll get her back. But why? What’s the point? You only get one life. Live it! Be Happy! If you can’t be happy with your wife, the one person who you’re suppose to trust and love and be best friends with, then why are you with her?

So some people might not agree with my opinion about not staying in this marriage. So give this man a reason to stay in it and how he can stay in it and be happy. To me it sounds like he’s tried over and over again and nothing has worked.

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Message them to me and find out what everyone thinks without them knowing its you!

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Isn’t he Sexy! And yes I know I shot the video sideways by mistake. I’m a dumbass…can’t help it

Question:
So I’ve recently been deflowered and when we did it I was severely intoxicated. Which was good because I wasn’t anxious about it at all. I have anxiety problems, and sex is particularly anxiety-inducing. Anyway, my boyfriend and I tried having sex recently and it really hurt, and I inadvertently pulled away every time he laid a hand on me. I then had a major anxiety attack, threw him off of me and cried in the bathroom for like, 15 minutes. Is there any way for me to acclimate myself to being close with someone? What are some good ways to slowly ease in to being physical? Is it normal for sober sex to be so much more…awful? Thanks so much for any input.

Answer:
I’m so sorry you’re having such a terrible time with sex. It should be a wonderful thing to share with someone you love. Just because you’ve had sex once with your partner please don’t feel pressured to do it again. Obviously you weren’t ready the first time. Tell him this. Talk to him. Let him know you’re not ready and you’ll let him know when you are. Sex should come naturally and both parties involved should be comfortable. Just wait. You’ll know when you’re ready again.

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Don’t forget to keep the sex questions coming.
Message them to me and find out what everyone thinks without them knowing its you!

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Question:
I’m not a inexperienced when it comes to doing things in the bedroom. Yet I can’t seem to make my girlfriend orgasm but once. I have not had trouble with this in the past and have greatly improved in a lot of ways from those days and situations. Any advice? Or maybe just a few new twists and turns to seal the deal?

Answer:
Have you tried talking to your girlfriend about it? That would be the first step. Maybe she knows what’s going on. Maybe she’s stressed or not relaxed enough. She might know a way to help also. Don’t automatically think it’s all you. I know when i have a hard time it’s all mental.

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Don’t forget to keep the sex questions coming.
Message them to me and find out what everyone thinks without them knowing its you!

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UPDATED

The person who sent in this question has responded


So I took everyone’s advice to heart and had a wonderful experience over the Thanksgiving day weekend. “Things” worked out quite well. Needless to say each experience was a fulfilling one for each of us! Thanks to everyone!

Question:
My girlfriend’s sex drive has dropped considerably since she went on the pill. When we first started dating, it wasn’t odd to have sex multiple times when we got together every weekend. Now i’m lucky if it happens once each weekend. I know the pill can cause this (“decreased libido” is listed as a side affect on the brand’s web page) but is there any way of counteracting this without changing to another form of birth control? We like the safety that comes with the pill, but it’s kinda pointless if she’s not in the mood.
 

Answer:
Well I think it would help to know how long you’ve been dating and if you live together. The reason I say this is because this happens all the time in relationships. It’s not necessarily the pill. It’s just the normal progression of a relationship. The animal lust fades away the longer you’re together. The reason this happens is because the lust is what draws two people together in the first place. If this stage was there forever no one would ever get anything done LOL.
So as this could be the pill it could also just be natural. If your GF feels that there’s something wrong have her go to her GYN and talk to her about it. They might be able to help her with a cream if they feel it has to do with the pill.
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Your turn to answer Xangans!

Don’t forget to keep the sex questions coming.
Message them to me and find out what everyone thinks without them knowing its you!

Please rec this post. It helps me get more questions. Thanks