December 30, 2008
-
Feeling guilty about how I spend my time
I have a lot of time off of work during the Holidays. I get a paid vacation. The kids are with their dad until Thursday. I could be doing anything and yet I choose to sit at home and do nothing. Why? Why is it that all I want to do is clean house, watch tv and be on my laptop? I should be outside enjoying this lovely day. I should be visiting with family. I should be at the mall. Anything but sitting at home in my pajamas. Right?
Is it because I usually work 40 hours a week, am a mother of 2 and never get the time to do nothing all day? Is it because normally my brain is thinking thinking thinking and now I dont have to think about a damn thing? I can just relax. Watch my TruTv and talk to my Xanga friends as much as I want.
Why do I feel guilty about enjoying my time off this way? Why do I feel it’s wrong to want to do nothing?
Is it because it is wrong?
How do you like to spend your time off?
Comments (62)
Everyone deserves a break, I believe. Don’t exclude yourself from that.
I love to lay on my bed nude and just listen to music.
But that’s me.
I don’t think it’s wrong at all, especially if you’re generally a really busy person. Relax! You finally have time to.
My time off, hm, I draw, write, or take my dog to the park. She likes that.
I’m doing the exact same thing hun. Except I should be cleaning my house and I’m not. It needs it bad. I’d rather sleep in and play all day then do something truly constructive. But damn, I run a non profit and when I’m working (aka not the holidays) I am always running around in 300 different directions and like you, don’t get a break. I say do what YOU want to do. It’s called a “mental health day” lol… or “mental health vacation” …
You’re just relaxing. You should take a nice bubble bath too. I wouldn’t recommend bringing your laptop in there though.
I’d totally enjoy my life that way, but I don’t have a lot of Xanga friends. Most of my Xangan friends are friends with me in real life and they are always busy :[[
All I do is play MMORPGS all day long and yeah.
I fail at life XDD
But there's nothing wrong about relaxing :]] You seem pretty busy, unlike me, so you actually deserve it!
Why should you be doing all of those other things? You are getting vacation days. They should be used for whatever you want – that includes sitting around all day in your pj’s!
Well I try to get away if I have an extended vacation (a week or more). If not then I do whatever the hell I want. If its vegging out sometimes, then so be it!
Don’t feel guilty for that.
The past 3 Summers my week-long paid vacation was spent kayaking with family. Last year wasn’t as fun as it should’ve been, so i’m taking a year off.
To save money, i’m not planning on going anywhere.
Maybe I’ll use that time to fix some things around the house. It’s been needing upgrades for years and maybe it’s time I do it. (Kitchen needs a complete overhaul)
I work 6 days a week. I deserve a week to not do a goddamned thing. I have the feeling you do too.
I am spending too much time with Xanga. And I feel guilty too. Kids need clean underwear!
Don’t feel guilty. I think everyone does the same thing at one point or another, but you’re probably one of the first people I know of that’s actually questioned if it’s right or wrong. That’s pretty much all I CAN do right now until all of my paperwork is settled. It sucks trying to work in another country…
Enjoy your time off. =]
Vacations are often so full of activities that people forget to just relax. I use my days off to sleep and chill, to let go of stress I didn’t know I had and breathe deep. No need to feel guilty, the change of pace is nice.
I like to do nothing and feel guilty about it, too.
Guilt? Hmm… It’s a difficult concept for me to grasp.
Enjoy those days off!
You shouldn’t feel guilty for spending your time off the way you want to.
Even though I don’t work outside the home, I get no time off. It has been years since my ex has taken care of the kids like a normal father. If I had even a few hours away from the kids, I imagine I would use that time to clean house or get caught up on the laundry.
@ChristieOriley - @TastyAnonymity - @cre13 - @casmarie - @Shavanna - Thanks guys. I feel much better now
@der_lila_Stern - @vanedave - @nothingbeast - @LifeNeedsProtection - @AilinCorazon - @omgitsmackie - @SeshetaStar - Thanks. hopefully i can ease the guilt now
@Viewtiful_Justin - its nice to know im not the only one. glad you understand
@lonelywanderer2 - thanks i will
@xSocial_Vampirex - you’re right. i should be happy i get these days off. i remember when i never got time off like you. i should just be thankful
Because you know that as a mom and a busy person you’re not going to have too many chances after the holidays to veg out and sit around.
Enjoy it!
You feel guilty cause you’re a momma. Yes, it IS a beautiful day here today, so get outside!!
im with you, man. i feel guilty lounging at home in my pj’s alllll day long when i could be out soaking in the sun, studying, or working on my hobby. i feel like im so damn lazy. at least you have an excuse though. you have kids. i dont have kids… haha waht’s my excuse for my laziness? you should enjoy your time off! relax! hehe!
It’s not wrong. My mom is the same way. Always feeling guilty if she isn’t doing something productive. Don’t feel bad! Relax! If you’re at the mall you’ll just spend money, and the outdoors is highly overrated. There’s nothing wrong with veg-ing out once in a while.
i spend my time off doing nothing… sleeping, playing on the computer, watching tv. i think its the best!
dont feel guilty!
Enjoy your time off!!!! I don’t get time off….but I still like to sit around and do nothing sometimes! Kind of like I’m doing right now. But everyone is sleeping. My house will be chaotic again in about an hour!
I am a Stay at Home mom. Everyday is the same for me. I should be walking, working out (which i Have begun to do) but, I list the hours away on Xanga.
You know how they say when you die your life flashes before your eyes. I remember thinking “That’s going to be a pretty boring review”. But hey you know what, it’s your life, you do what you like with it. I know I do the same thing. I’m sure a lot of other people do as well. Sometimes it’s nice to just do nothing and not go anywhere.
Hi : )
You’re a Mum. The non-relax mode is inbuilt.
I watch Tv, read, go on the internetsee my friends, and clean my room to relax.
Yes. Clean my room.
Have a great day : )
xxx
My wife does that sometimes, if she doesn’t have to take her mom to the Dr, or keep one of the grandbabies or take Jill to an appointment, or something else like that, she will just stay in her PJ’s all day long. There have been times she wanted to just get away from everyone so back in May of 2006 I got her a suite at a nice hotel with all extra’s on May 16. She basically stayed up all night in the jaccuzi and reading and watching TV. She was so sleepy the next day. She was at home resting on the couch when the call came wher Jill had her horseback accident and lost her right leg on the 17th. It was ICU for a week and then 2 weeks in the hospital. She is now afraid to take time off for herself like that
PB and J sandwich, TV and Xanga, and bedtime beer before i hit the bed..is how i spend my time off.
To answer your question, ALL moms deserve a break, TAKE that break and don’t worry about it.
There is nothing wrong with it…you’ve earned it! i think you are just not used to it…
dont’ feel guilty, unless you’re avoiding something you should be doing, instead. uh oh.
otherwise, relax. =)
Cut yourself some slack. We’re too hard on ourselves sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with using free time to do anything or nothing at all. There are no rules against either. Don’t let guilt take away the joy from whatever you decide. It’s all good.
Enjoy your time doing absolutely nothing. You need time for yourself. You need time to recharge. That is not being selfish. That is being wise. Your children and your boss would not appreciate a woman who is completely burned out.
I like to read, make jewelry, play around on the internet, gardening, cook, watch TV and movies when I have time to myself.
I know on those days when I don’t have my baby whether she be at her aunt’s or with her grandparents, I am doing nothing. It feels nice. I don’t have to run to her when she cries or change a diaper or run to the grocery store in between naps. I’m not on any type of schedule and I like it. Even if I do end up being extremely bored.
You feel guilty because it sounds like you never stop. I get that way sometimes too- I get so caught up in life that I need to relax but can’t because I feel guilty. Sounds like this is what you’re experiencing. I’d say to try your best to sit and do nothing, do what you want, or don’t do anything at all, and ignore your guilty conscious.
I get those same feelings when I am off from work. Enjoy it girl! When you are back to work next week you will wish for this time again! I need to take my own advice too lol
My break has consituted of hanging out with friends, eating out, and xanga. haha
Becca, lemme just say this about that: Take a break! This thing called life isn’t easy. It makes demands of us and places burdens on us. It can wear us out! I found the list of things you mentioned as alternatives to just sitting around interesting… all the things that we as kids started being brainwashed to believe back when I was in early grade school, between ’68 and ’70 or so. We’re conditioned to feel obligated to be doing certain things all the time, but they all come down to two things: producing and consuming.
By way of contrast, our Creator (and who should know what makes us work better than Him) actually commands us to rest once a week! Yup, it’s actually one of the 10 commandments! You have so much on your plate, and you have children who will depend on you to be there well beyond the next meal or paycheck. Recognize that the guilt you’re talking about is the result of institutionalized brainwashing. And then, start planning your next break! Check Exodus 20!
Sitting around doing nothing when you usually have a lot to do is awesome. That’s how most of my winter break is being spent, since I know I’ll have my nose to the grindstone when school starts again.
By the way, thinking about what you’re thinking (i.e. “Why do I feel guilty about doing nothing?) is called metacognition. Just my opinion, but it seems to me to indicate a habit of deeper cognition in a person. It’s good to spend time in introspection occassionally. I hope you’re enjoying your break!
i like hanging out at home myself. i’m not really a people person. my social skills lack something to be desired so staying at home is my comfort place. although i use to go out and window shop a lot (which turned into real shopping and got me in financial troubles)
I do exactly the same thing!! I take my daughter to daycare and take a day off work with the intention of getting housework done etc but just end up sitting on the couch, watching tv and playing mindless internet games *all day* and loving it.
You’re loved.
I’d go into some strung out psychological reasoning as to why you might be feeling bad about it but really there’s no point. If you’re neglecting doing something that is life or death should it not be done then you have a problem…otherwise, enjoy doing nothing…it’s not something you get to do every. single. day.
P.S. I really enoy reading these blogs best. I like knowing what’s going on in peoples heads and having more to relate to.
Sitting home doing nothing may be wrong . . . but it sounds so delightful! Enjoy!
i do the same…. just enjoy it. dont feel bad!!
Nothing wrong with just hanging out and relaxing…. If I need to relax, I avoid the outside scene at all costs and turn off the world.
How you choose to spend your time is ur business. I hope u enjoy ur time off. I play with my legos, watch movies, masterbait, etc but its how i choose to do it
I think that if you feel relaxed by cleaning, watching TV and laptop you should enjoy that time. Maybe you feel this way because you think you are being lazy. But there is a dfference between being lazy and relaxing, and it sounds like you are relaxing. Enjoy your time off
You are reading it. Don’t feel guilty.
please help me read my entry
don’t feel guilty. you need time to yourself and just finally relax with no distractions. so use this time to do that(:
I sleep
lol u made me feel guilty for spending my whole 3months holiday like that and occasionally working haha…=)
happt new years btw…=)
I totally agree. I am still looking for work so there is a lot of down time and I feel guilty. But I feel like women are such busy bodies that we can’t just sit down and do nothing. I think guys have a much easier time doing this than women. Just relax!! It’s ok to just chill out every now & then. You can just read a book so you feel like you’ve accomplished something =)
i spend my time off the same as you do
I feel the exact same way. I work so much that on my days off i just want to do nothing but sit home relax maybe play some video games and chill. Then i feel guilty about not going out and doing something else, even though I dont want to have to deal with anything at all on day off including walking to car driving anywhere or anything that excludes sitting at home relaxing.
Completely normal for those of us that work alot particulary in high stress jobs.
Don’t feel bad! It’s what YOU want to do. I like to sit on my laptop for as long as I can. It calms my nerves. It’s your day off, hun. Do what you feel comfortable doing, because if you do anything else, you risk it feeling like work…
Don’t feel guilty. It is your time. I wish I had time. Writing takes up a geat deal of my time. I barely have time for sleep. Writing is a tough job and a never ending job, but this is what I love to do. Do not feel guilty at all. Enjoy your little vacation while it lasts.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to relax. It gives you time to enjoy and be yourself. ^_^ As for me, when I have time off, I like to sleep in or just go online.
ditto. house cleaning is what i like to do.:D