December 23, 2008
-
UPDATED – Dear Snippie#34 (I suck at oral)
Question:
I suck at oral sex. My girlfriend loves me to go down on her, and yet despite my best efforts, I can never seem to quite “get the job done.” She sometimes gives out special instructions, but I wind up getting flustered and can’t finish the deed. What can I do to make sure I can “do the task” a bit better and keep her satisfied and happy?Answer:
I’m sorry you feel that way. I don’t think that you suck, I think that you might just be insecure about it. Maybe talk about what she likes before actually doing it. Discuss it. Research it. Watch some instructional video, yes porn. Then tell her you want to practice. Then there won’t be so much pressure. She’ll know this is just a practice and that will hopefully relax you a bit. Make sure not to focus on the clit the whole time. Enjoy the whole area. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Make it fun. There is no right or wrong way to do this. If she doesnt orgasm, that’s ok. Not everyone orgasms that way.UPDATED!!!
Check out this video that one of my readers posted
http://www.submityourflicks.com/videos/936/pussy-eating-101.html——————-
Your turn to answer Xangans!
Don’t forget to keep the sex questions coming.
Message them to me and find out what everyone thinks without them knowing its you!
Please rec this post. It helps me get more questions. I can’t do these post without questions.
XOXO,
Snippie
Comments (65)
Have her do something for you at the same time – 69 or a hand job. That should help you relax too! (And may even get her more excited!)
I agree with both Snippie and der_lila_Stern. Watch some porno (if you’re not against it) to gain some ideas and maybe try 69-ing to relax! Both excellent bits of advice!
I personally hate oral on me… and I could never come that way, so he shouldn’t feel bad about it. Not all women can come that way.
@nimbusthedragon - I agree…some girls just aren’t geared to go off of “oral pleasure”…treat it as a warm up…and the pressure will be off as the ladies said above…
What’s Oral?
oh man this kid shoulda asked me, im like the king of gnawin’ on cooters
Practice, practice and more practice. Research. Also, you may want to get a rabbit or bullet and see if she can orgasm with that against her clit. She might find that she doesn’t orgasm through clitoral stimulation.
if she can orgasm that way, then you need to focus on what you’re doing when you’re down there. Don’t keep switching it up, trying new things every 2 minutes or pretending it’s some type of race. Pay close attention to her reactions of what you’re doing, find a pattern that she really likes and work that motion as constant as possible. It’ll take some time but once you find that which makes her scream, you’ll be a god among men.
Either way, you’re going to have lots of hands on learning to do. Enjoy!
@At_Sixes_And_Sevens - I like your profile pic. my grandpa directed All in the Family
i am underage, censored =X. Anyways, i am a bad kisser and i suck in relationships, i am much worse than you, so yeah hmmm…=P
The two things that helped me out: having braces all 4 years in high school. Oh, picking food out of your braces for almost half a decade builds muscle. Also, spelling out letters with my tongue on her wonderbox and seeing which ones get a reaction.
Don’t forget that your tongue’s natural sidekick in this are your fingers. Try giving her a clitoral hummer whilst stroking her G-spot with one finger and swirling around the outside of her anus with the other hand. Just remember to swirl clockwise. I can’t stress this enough: swirl clockwise!
@denigma21 - Clockwise, huh? Wonder why …
@AilinCorazon - It’s when a man puts his penis into a womans ear to attempt to satisfy her.
My advice: don’t forget you have hands as well and be sure to put them to use. Good grieff…better yet, just read what denigma21 wrote…I don’t know that there is a big difference between which way you swir tho.
I’m pretty sure no woman would complain about a “practice” session.
But watching porn to get ideas how to do it is a VERY bad idea. You see, porn is advertised towards MEN. Most of the techniques I’ve seen in porn for “pleasuring” a woman are either out-of-focus or NOT things I would want happening to me.
And, the bottom line is, not all women can cum from just oral sex. It may be easier for her (if she likes penetration) to penetrate with your fingers or a dildo while you’re going at it.
im a fan off clockwise TOO! lol…do it the other way and youve lost me!
I would do a MAJOR tease to start..stay clear of her clit. I would lick, suck, kiss everywhere but there…get REAAAL close but dont do it at all cost..rub your fingertips just around it as your tongue makes little circles around the neighborhood and watch the flood gates open and when her hips and thighs start to tremble and wiggle then go ahead and give it a whirl
its what i hear of course..i have no idea hehe
Good luck
He doesn’t want her to cum in his mouth. Or “Discharge” it isn’t pleasant.
@SnippiesBlog - eeeeppppp really? That’s pretty rad. Since it’s like pretty much the best show ever.
@At_Sixes_And_Sevens - ya it was the best show ever. He won like 5 Emmies for that show. Gramps is 90 now.
@jediwa72 - Oh I did that before to a dog. It went deaf…
I think you’re lying to me
oh, this is different from what I expected. I thought it was a story about a girl sucking (no pun intended) at oral sex. Which I think is impossible for a girl to do. If they agree to it, they automatically rock.
Try having her do something to you at the same time, 69 or handjob
Play with her clit, a little sucking is okay.
Finger her at the same time (this feels amazing!!).
Don’t stress out about it just relax and have fun.
@la_faerie_joyeuse - LOL it is, isnt it? But it’s more so entertaining than stimulating.
Once all men figure out that having actual sex is nothing like porn, the better off everyone will be.
Ask her. I guarantee she’s got ideas about what works best and might be a bit wary of telling you because she’s worried you’ll think she doesn’t enjoy everything else you do. It’s awkward, but asking is ALWAYS the best route. Also, encourage her to ask you about what you like.
Just remember–the sexiest thing you can stimulate is the brain. If it’s not into what’s going on, nothing else will be. She needs to know that you want to know what works.
Don’t feel like you aren’t doing a good job just because she doesn’t “reach the goal” If she’s enjoying it, then you are doing fine, that just may not be a way that is easy for her to “cross the finish line”…..oooh my metaphors lol. Good luck!
@la_faerie_joyeuse - This is very true…I have never seen a porn where the woman could actually enjoying what the man is doing…although I am not a female, all my experience tells me no…
You get great comments…and clockwise is right….so right.
as an expert on this…I gotta say…
…ah nevermind.
See, this is something I LOVE to do. And I’ve found that communication with your partner is the key to great oral sex. My wife used to be among those women who couldn’t have an orgasm from oral sex. But we took some time to explore how we might make it happen. Talking, touching, trying different positions, pressures, etc. It was fun and not only did she wind up having a mind blowing orgasm, she learned a few things about herself in the process.
http://www.submityourflicks.com/videos/936/pussy-eating-101.html
Here’s a good instructional video.
really that is supirsing
Don’t watch porn.
Not even lesbian porn.
I don’t even have a vag and know what those girls do is just for show. (mostly for the men.)
See if Nina Hartley did any instructional videos on going down on women. She’s an older porn star, but she’s a fucking professional.
You say you suck at oral. But have you tried ACTUALLY sucking, even biting gently? The only rule is to have fun, and don’t damage anything!!!
tease her by stimulating the areas around the vagina, use the whole body, lightly graze her, caress her make her shake, and when she can no longer take it go in for the kill
@TakingxOverxMe - That video was fantastic!!! thank you!!!
The poor guy. That kind of thing always leads to performance anxiety, you get so obcessed with how you’re doing it, that nothing you do is right. Get in touch with your emotions and forget all the mechanics. If you can understand your womans instructions, you’re just not doing it right, she should not be able to form coherant speech if you get it right. That’s one of the best indicators. Oh, and make sure you dont have any oil lamps close to her, trust me on this.
You’re a nut, girl, lol,
Next thing you know they will call you Dr. Ruth, lol, 
Have a great Christmas if I don’t read ya before then!!!
“Once all men figure out that having actual sex is nothing like porn, the better off everyone will be.”
@Gerald_Washington - But then what would 95% of the male population do in their spare time?
@Da__Vinci - bahahahaha so true … on all counts.
@JUSTAVAPORHERE - lol i love dr.ruth!!! merry christmas to you too!!!
@authentic_black_dragon - i dont think thats what he was saying.
@theblackspiderman - oh hell no. you better spit it out!
Oral sex can be different for many girls. Snippie right with not just focusing on the clit the whole time, even if it is the magic button. I will share how I give oral and my trade secret just cause I feel sorry for you (and if you think I am full of shit tell that to the last girl I gave oral to, that lead to her first orgasm from a guy… actually it was 4)… So first off you got build upto it… work your way down to her flower… Then you gotta tease her… give a couple of longer licks where you lick the whole vagina… then kiss and lick the side of her legs, but do it sensually… Then give them a couple licks… kiss/nibble/lick her other legs… Now depending on how much you want to torture this girl you can get her worked up and stop (something I do when I am being the tease I am)… After you start getting her aroused you can put more focus on the clit, I usually start licking it slower, with my tongue out of my mouth, and more just using the tip of my tongue… After about 5 minutes of getting her warmed this way I will in corporate a finger inside her vagina and slow go in and out and sometimes feeling around inside (I love how it feels)… If she is really excited and lubricated I will move upto 2 fingers inside her while working the clit.. After I have got her worked up then I stop… I will kiss around her stomach, legs and hips… At this point I give the girl my wicked smirk…. This is when I really start going to town… Essentially I bury my face in her vagina… I get her clit in my mouth, which is because you can generate a faster pace and strength from flicks of your tongue when it is in your mouth, and basically start hitting it like my personal punching bag for my tongue… Also with it in your mouth you can gentley suck it in and out as you are flicking your tongue at it to hit it at different spots… If you can make your lips vibrate and she is sensative enough you can add even more to it at this point to… At this point most women go crazy, arching their back, twitching, and some are so sensative they almost can’t take and try to push away even though they really want more… If they aren’t flopping around too much you can procede to finger them at the same time as you are really abusing her clit… For some girls you can add even more pleasure by putting a pillow at the arch of their back… Now also remember you can try to keep the pace up for awhile… Some girls you can get off in seconds this way, and others can take awhile… You can take breaks to where you let the clit have a second to recover… Also realize women are just so more complicated then men… Some women Oral is the only way they can get off… Others don’t even like it… and many others are just to self conscious to enjoy it,…. Personally I love giving oral cause its like having a woman by the ovaries in most cases…
Any questions?
i say lick around. that always feels good. let your tounge linger around her vagina. if you want to give her an orgasm that takes a little work. but try this. lick the clit really fast with the tip of your tounge. than with your pinky..yes pinky, put the tip in and out of her vagina hole thingy. lol. that often gets me to get an orgasm faster. maybe it will work for her. *shrugs* GOOD LUCK!
hey baby!
who are you?
@RedheadAblaze - what I mean by that is, that everything you see in porn isn’t applicable in bed with a woman. Lets say I watch James Bond films all the time. I’m not going to suddenly become a tactical espionage agent for the CIA knowing only the criteria I watched from those films. get it?
@Gerald_Washington - I caught your drift. Still though, if it’s not porn then it’ll be something else. Besides, take away the porn and guys will start to talk amongst themselves spreading those “great ideas” that end up with someone getting slapped or sent to the hospital.
@JUSTAVAPORHERE - or Dr. Snippie =p
Clockwise? Hmmmm would that be from your perspective or her perspective? What if she has a digital clock?
First of all LISTEN to your girlfriend without flipping out.Dont take it as a personal attack on your manhood if she likes it left instead of right,or whatever.Tongue,check,fingers ,check,thats all you need bro.Get into it and dont stop until you hear her scream in languages you cant identify.If that dont work,do the alphabet on her with your tongue,over and over .It works.Good Lick,I mean Luck
How many girls has he tried this with?
Is it a universal opinion?
And honestly How hard is Cunnilingus really.
What makes you an expert to give advice about something like sex? Are you a licensed therapist?
@Trapped_Inside_247 - OMG Like totally!
@SnippiesBlog - HAHAHAHA don’t hate on the haters. Apparently she felt the need to comment but didn’t have any words of advice on the subject!
@Millsanicole - ok ok. i’ll try not to joke
@SnippiesBlog - Katie Morgan isn’t a sex therapist, she’s an adult-film star. But apparently she knows enough on the subject of sex to have her own show on HBO to answer viewers’ questions! Not saying Snippie is an adult-film star or anything. There’s your next stop Snipps—-your very own special on HBO giving sex advice so that callers can call in and ask you what makes you an expert. You don’t have to have a fucking degree to make you an expert on a subject! Come on people!
HI ,,
Who are you ??
Awhile back on Real Sex on HBO they asked people on the street about Oral sex on a woman. One guy says he tries to draw the alphabet with his tongue when he’s giving oral sex to his girlfriend or wife I forget which she was.
In the Meaning of Life movie John Cleese says not to jump right in on the clit,
My myself I like to lick up and down then occasionally poke the tongue in and out like it’s a mini penis then lick or nibble the clit. I alternate that routine. So far I haven’t had any complaints.
@At_Sixes_And_Sevens - That’s hot.
yeah, if you’re not using your fingers at the same time, DEFINATELY try that. clit and g-spot simultaneously? oooh, hot damn.
im totally not getting the clockwise thing.
practice makes perfect that’s for sure.
@brittanymullins - Is she REALLY a doctor ? I just assumed it was a xanga site name. If she is a doctor and her xanga site name describes it, then she would have to be a urologist doing vasectomies, lol..”snip, snip” rofl,
Hope you have a great Christmas!
i herd its sexy if you stick yer thumb up her butthole while yer gnawin’ away at that thinger there fer erotical-like pleasures o’ the flesh. Or if yer shy, or an amputee, you can try stickin various bric-a-brack and thing-a-ma-bobs up her pooper when she isn’t lookin, I’ve found that the toolshed is a great place to start looking for such things to be use’d in yer “erotic episoads” fer “orel sexuals” and whatnot
One move my maiden loves is start by flicking (with tongue of course, no hands allowed!) at the area between the vagina and anus (or at the anus if you’re REALLY into it…some girls like it) and lick, very slow but firm all the way up to past her mons. repeat, going a little faster every time until she starts rocking her body on your face. If in 69, just reverse. but it’s a bit harder. use your nose if you can!
others, just lift her clitoral hood and lick away at the clit, but remember not to neglect other areas of the vagina. Or take your two fingers, rub the very outside of the vagina while licking the center.
Just works for me, my face has been squirted on a few times accordingly >_< hope it helps!
@TakingxOverxMe - uhhhhhhhh …
I think I’ve generally got the knack of it and have been fairly successful. However, the lady in your link seems to have a few tricks up her sleeve of which I was not fully aware! That’s some edumacational stuff right there, and odds are it’ll come in handy next time!! Thanks for the tip!!!
@jediwa72 - @AilinCorazon - lmao……………………hahahaha