December 2, 2008
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Dear Snippie #20 (I can’t make my GF “O”)
Question:
I’m not a inexperienced when it comes to doing things in the bedroom. Yet I can’t seem to make my girlfriend orgasm but once. I have not had trouble with this in the past and have greatly improved in a lot of ways from those days and situations. Any advice? Or maybe just a few new twists and turns to seal the deal?
Answer:
Have you tried talking to your girlfriend about it? That would be the first step. Maybe she knows what’s going on. Maybe she’s stressed or not relaxed enough. She might know a way to help also. Don’t automatically think it’s all you. I know when i have a hard time it’s all mental.———–
Your turn to answer Xangans!
Don’t forget to keep the sex questions coming.
Message them to me and find out what everyone thinks without them knowing its you!Please rec this post. It helps me get more questions. Thanks
UPDATED
The person who sent in this question has responded
So I took everyone’s advice to heart and had a wonderful experience over the Thanksgiving day weekend. “Things” worked out quite well. Needless to say each experience was a fulfilling one for each of us! Thanks to everyone!
Comments (46)
I hell, I’m all over this like white on rice.
You’re right, you need to talk. She needs to guide him and tell him what she likes and doesn’t like. Guys need to be prepared to be repetitious on certain things to the point of pain. ie, you’re going to have to imitate a vibrator on “high”, hope you’ve got the stamina for it.
I’ve read that women that have trouble with the big “O” either haven’t really had it yet, or are probably of the 80% of women that can only get it through clitoral stimulation. Don’t worry so much about the actual sex, but work on the oral bit. You might find that if you can hit that “O” with your tongue and then go right into the sex, she’ll be hyper sensitive and continue to keep have more orgasms until you have yours.
But TALK through it. She knows her body so she’ll have to guide you on what’s working and not working.
@SladeTheGreyFox - thank you sir
@SladeTheGreyFox - Or just send her my way
Seriously though, Slade hit it right on (he’s a very smart Fox). Talk, talk, talk. Listen to her. If you get pissed when she corrects you or asks for something different it’s not going to happen. Patience and communication
I”m 14…………………
@SladeTheGreyFox - I agree with the repetitious part one thousand percent.
My husband has to go really slow. Poor guy, it used to kill him. By now, I’m sure I’ve built up his back muscles. lol.
Use your tongue and go straight for the clitoris! It’s not that hard!
Yea, I say talk to her.
@OstentatiousEloquence - lol, or yea, I suppose you could try that.
Maybe she’s a closet lesbian. Anytime I can’t make a girl “arrive” (remember that’s my word for it) I just assume she’s a closet lesbo. Not that it’s ever happened to me. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Not that I am making any damn sense right now.
@OstentatiousEloquence - hmmm. very direct advice.
@vanedave - I like to cut all the bullshit out and just help a brotha out.
I agree with Snippie, when I have a hard time it’s all mental. My hubby had to talk to me and find out what was wrong, but after all the issues were resolved…best sex of that month ever. And the talking may be red cheeks on both ends, but it makes a ton of difference.
@kenwong513 - Happy birthday?
@OstentatiousEloquence - Exactly, you’ve got to rev up the engine before you turn on the heat.
@vanedave - your responses are always hilarious! They are now the first thing I look for beyond Snippie’s response!
@SladeTheGreyFox - That should do it
After reading that I need to go find my husband.
Back tracking to the mental bit, if she’s preoccupied then you need to unoccupy her mind. Draw her a bath, light some candles, and give her a glass of wine. That should relax her and then you can give her what she needs.
@seedsower - Tell him I said you’re welcome!
@der_lila_Stern - me too, lol
@der_lila_Stern - lol. I always get goofy when I am talking about sex. It’s the immature adolescent boy in me I suppose.
Now I feel pressure to maintain a high level of comments for you.
@vanedave - dave you get goofy? no way.
@SladeTheGreyFox - nice
@lostintranscension - lol happy birthday. that was random wasnt it
@rambling_crazytalk - nice!
@SnippiesBlog - only when I’m talking about it, not when I am doing it. When I am doing it I am smooth as silk.
@vanedave - suuuuure
@vanedave - if you take sex seriously it wouldnt ever be any fun anyway!
no pressure!
I would definitely say lots and lots of foreplay will help, and it might be easier for her if she’s on top too.
For me, it usually is in my head when I don’t have my moment. I’m a giver, but I like to see my moment as well. Definitely ask her what she wants/needs. Sometimes, it can be a helpful hand, more foreplay, kissing, etc. Got to warm up the engine first, sometimes, before you can take it for a ride!
Hi, thanks for visiting
<3
some girls just don’t. It doesn’t mean the guy is doing anything wrong.
apart from when i’m doing it myself…I have only finished once. and that’s ok.
it just means I know my body best.
<3
Talking about it is a good start but the best thing to do is share. Have her show you what feels good. Once you both are comfortable with that — you should be doing ok
@SladeTheGreyFox - first comment I read and OMG! I totally agree. Communication is the key, not only with sex, but other issues as well. So right about the oral comment. The best (I feel the ONLY) advice is to talk, talk and talk some more.
try the tongue plus finger(s) at the same time. usually that’d send my lady up to heaven
again, lots of patience, listen and pay attention to what makes her feel good, and lots of backache from the guy, I’m afraid, but it’d all pay off nicely 
oh, gotta set the mood to make sure no interruption, too! for a switch, sometimes try to be spontaneous! that’d score extra points, hehehe…
I have to agree with becca. Talk to her. I think that is best. Oral isn’t always the answer…i had a friend who didn’t mind doing it to her man but receiving it did nothing for her! See what she wants and be patient…let her know you are there for her.
I have a question about that. Why is it that some people always find it amusing to make love when they are not married? Simple. Because they can’t wait. LOL. Just thought I’d add a little to this interesting conversation. peace
S.C.
I suggest trying new positions. Or lay down and let the girl take over!
Talk through it DURING sex, if you have to. Find her spot, with her as your navigator … I’m sure she’ll put you on the right track!
@SladeTheGreyFox - um wow
When you are done talking and you have her in a relaxed state the next thing you must do is Learn her Vagina.Each woman has a little something they want done to them to take them over the rainbow.To orgasm so hard that all they hear is the blood pounding in there ears and there whole lower body convulsing .Clitoral stimulation is the most common and most effective way to give a girl an orgasm,but if you really take a little extra time and not rush it like a time trial you will find many ways to please your lady.Relax and enjoy the experience,sex is a beautiful thing ,let your partner tell you what feels good to her,there is no shame in asking and you will both benefit and enjoy the journey.Good Luck.Just wanting to please her well is already a huge step in the right direction
google. nuff said.
@SladeTheGreyFox - you are quite inside a woman’s head sir. nicely done. =]
@Pawleeen - If you want to be great at something, you gotta do the research. I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging, but I’ve never had complaints in that department. So, now I do my best to help other guys reach that same level.
@SladeTheGreyFox - YES!
First one was right on the money.
From personal experience, I’ll also have to admit my main problem is stamina. My ex could barely keep up with me, and the two times he got close he was really tired.
=[
Talk to her, if its just stress, surprise her with a romantic candle-lit bubble bath, foot massage, and lots of foreplay.
Don’t pounce on her with your dick right out of your trousers. Maybe that puts a little too much pressure on her to perform.
Aww this is so nice. We’re making a difference out there.
I’m taking this advice straight to the boyfriend, Thanks!