November 30, 2008
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Dear Snippie #23 (Condom Issues)
Question:
I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time yesterday but it didn’t go as I thought. For some reason I just didn’t feel turned on. It was the first time I used a condom and I think that might of been the problem. It was really tight and uncomfortable, to the point where it totally turned me off. Does this normally happen? And is there a different solution or specific condom you think would work better?Answer:
Maybe your condom was too small. Try a larger size. Then it won’t be too tight. You don’t want the condom so tight that it cuts off the blood circulation.I think it’s best that I leave the answers to the men though. So guys…take it away!
———–Your turn to answer Xangans!
Don’t forget to keep the sex questions coming.
Message them to me and find out what everyone thinks without them knowing its you!Please rec this post. It helps me get more questions. Thanks
Comments (31)
That adds a whole new dimension to the phrase “it didn’t fit.” *grin*
I think the condom was too small as well.
Or if its just the condom that feels weird, jerk off using a condom a few times and see how that feels.
But I’m certain its the wrong small.
Lol. Most guys aren’t modest and go for a bigger size than what they are.
Xo
Having spoken about condom issues with my bf and other male friends, the general consensus is that condoms dull the sensation, making them last longer though occasionally making it harder to get off. The solution is 1) as mentioned find a bigger condom and 2) trying different condoms until you find one that feels better. The thinner the condom, the less loss of sensation. If you unwrap it, and it looks like a surgical glove, chances are it’s going to be entirely too thick.
Also, incorporate condoms into foreplay. A good handjob done over a condom (or head given with a condom, though I’m not a big fan of the latex flavor) does two things: 1) keeps you turned on and 2) warms the condom before penetration.
Good luck!!
I think that the BIGGEST problem you had was not so much the size of the condom, but the kind of comdom. See, unless you’ve got a “monster” in your pants, a bigger condom won’t do. Try the heated kind of comdoms, like Trojan’s Shared Pleasure ones. Enjoy!
http://www.condomusa.com/4editor.asp
it was just that easy.
girls need to be in control of all birth control. take care of it yourselves, girls. spend the money. it’s you that’ll have a pregnancy otherwise. and that’s the LEAST likely. think about it. and if you don’t like the taste of latex, they’re not all latex and you can get flavored. otherwise, you know it’s possible to get gonorrhea in your mouth. maybe other stuff, too.
don’t leave it to the guy. have peace of mind and enjoy it.
The condom’s too small. They do dull sensation, but they shouldn’t be uncomfortable. Try stepping it up. I never thought of myself as a big guy in that area, and I bought a magnum after some really uncomfortable sex, expecting for it to be like hanging a paper bag over my dick. Turns out it was the best decision I’ve ever made. Bigger condoms. Do it.
tight and uncomfortable? are you using durex? durex is usually smaller than trojans.
if ur penis is 7-9 inches (you’re a big guy) –> then go with magnums.
if ur penis is average like 5-6 inches… u probably should be using normal condoms.
in any case, if ur worried about the loss of sensation — which is the main problem with condoms — there are the super thins. also, there’s shared pleasures, and the twisted pleasure. give those a shot. also, maybe try some KY warming liquid.
Everything I would say has already been said, but I’ll repeat it anyway.
1. Try the next size up (if it’s too small it could stop blood flow causing a really bad affect.)
2. Buy lubricated condoms or try putting a little on your pen*s before slipping the condom on.
3. Masturbate while wearing a condom in order to get yourself used to wearing one.
4. They make female condoms as well, try one.
5. Don’t be afraid to experiment, buy a variety pack.
Go for the Magnum kind. They’re not only longer, but slightly wider as well.
@daeshii - good advice
@thesecretfee - thanks for your comment
@simply_steffy - thank you for your comment
@artworkjanalee - Oh, really? As far as I knew, it takes two to make babies. You’re just as “responsible” for a pregnant woman as that woman is.
How could he not know that the condom was too small? Haa well he did say that it was his first time. He should definitely try a larger size, maybe he’s an extra large. Hehe Also thanks for requesting me, I sort of like sex questions. I don’t know why, but I just do. =)
@artworkjanalee - I don’t think all birth control choices should be left to the female partner. Sex is not all about one person out of the couple. It seems kind of sexist to suggest that the man shouldn’t have any responsibilities in a sexual relationship.
@HeartOfPandora - I’M a woman, hence the profile name and pic.
@SeeBeeWrite - go with him to purchase things together or let him pay. if you want to leave it all up to the guy i’m not stopping you.
hmmm…interesting. Dont know what to say about this one …
@artworkjanalee - Then why do you feel it’s your responsibility and not his to keep yourself safe? Sex is a relationship between two people, not simply a man using a woman for his own sexual desires.
Hmmm … blaming the condom is not the answer. Like a balloon you can stretch the ring portion at the base (careful not to break it) and actually get it to fit (snug but not restricting). If he were turned on and ready to go (a.k.a. “rock hard”) when he put the thing on then the opposite effect would have happened – blood flow restriction would have maintained an erection not “totally turned” him “off”.
He only says its his first time with his girlfriend but doesn’t say if its his first time ever, how much experience he has (if a first time with condoms I am guessing very little) or if he had anxiety issues.
@slappedwithreality - good points! thank you
Use thin condoms and ask her to perform oral before you penetrate her.
well if you weren’t aroused then there’s your problem. the condom was HANDS DOWN an unfit size for you. try magnums i heard they are great for you “larger” men.
Safety first.
@JessxMaxine - They do!
yeah, not to much to add for this one, maybe if you’re girlfriend is willing, try the flavored condoms, and have her put in on with her mouth. I think that would help with the staying turned on with the putting on of the condom.
I have issues with normal condoms as well I can go for.. Well I won’t talk about that. A normal condom leaves me with little to no sensation. If all your worried about is pregnancy and not “other” issues, try using a “Natural Lamb” condom. They are thinner, and don’t look like a normal condom, or feel like one. It’s the closest thing to nothing at all that I have come by. It’s a much better shared experience in my opinion. They are a little more costly thought so be prepared to pay extra.
@rambling_crazytalk - just make sure there’s no lipstick involved bcuz there’s something in it that would DISSOLVE latex! Yikes!!!
Also, try other brands besides major ones like Trojan and Durex…there are some in sex shops that feel like wonders. I recalled there was one being showed in my college with some bead-like material that massages the bottom part of the shaft(I know, holy tollito!). That should bring some extra sensitivity, mind u
Strangers in the night, exchanging rubbers
This one’s too tight, I’ll get another
@bosefius - this one is too loose
but it can hold all the juice
@wallsocketnose - lipstick dissolves latex? That is so cool. Hearing that makes me want to experiment. I think I need to keep my curiosity to myself.
@rambling_crazytalk - haha…u do that and share with us, will u?
yep, heard it in a Human Sexuality course back in my university. Forgot the name of the substance, but it suuure made a lot of us all woke up from the boring lecturer, LOL!
@thesecretfee - I’ll see what’s up. I’m 7.25 in., and I fit a regular condom just fine.