November 28, 2008
-
Dear Snippie #21 (I don’t wanna stop!)
Question:
After sex, my boyfriend can never go again right away. In fact, it usually takes him a full 45 minutes to get going again, by which point, the moment is dead, buried, and forgotten. I’ll admit, I’m a little uneducated in the workings of the male body, but from what I’ve been told, and from past experiences, I thought guys as young as he is (he’s 20) should have the ability to have sex multiple times, with less of a refractory period. Is it physical or psychological? And if it’s all in his head (the one on top of his shoulders), is there anything I can do to fix it?
Answer:
It’s different for every male. Most women are lucky if they have a man that’s able to go and go without stopping. In my experience not a lot of men can just go and go like the energizer bunny. Most men have to wait at least 30 minutes before they can go again. There’s nothing wrong with him. If you do want to keep going though switch to foreplay after you finish the first time. The waiting time might lessen if he gets turned on. Maybe during those 30 minutes he can work on you.
———–
Your turn to answer Xangans!
Don’t forget to keep the sex questions coming.
Message them to me and find out what everyone thinks without them knowing its you!Please rec this post. It helps me get more questions. Thanks
Comments (36)
that’s true. not all men are built the same.
just give him a reason to be “up” for more.
Good advice.
Xo
30 to 45 minutes is pretty much normal for most guys, even the 20 year olds. Does he go down? A couple of clitoral orgasms before intercourse could help you feel a lot more satisfied afterwards.
45 mins?! what?
way too long… um… i heard. ahem.
I am such a freakish old man, even now, at 37, it is only about 5-10 minutes…
Strongly written! Heck, I never have had sexual relations, but from what you say, I don’t think I ever will! LOL.
S.C.
Buy viagra.
Or get him drunk and put on a wig and pretend you’re another girl.
He’ll be up in five minutes then.
Tell him that during the “intermission” that God gave him a perfectly good tongue.This way he feels no pressure and you orgasm to your hearts content until he is ready again.Win Win situation!!
I started having sex with my current boyfriend when I was 15 and he was 19. Back in the day, he was able to go and go like a freakin’ jack rabbitt. Now, I’m lucky if he lasts longer than half an hour, and it takes him about 20 minutes to get back up again.
It’s not all that bad. If you do a little foreplay before hand it can make the experience a hell of a lot better. Take your time during foreplay, and when you finally get to it, it’ll feel amazing.
hey, i just passed by your site and i was just wondering if you could help me with mine since yours is awsome…
@GET_THIS - what do you need help with exactly?
@SnippiesBlog - i have no clue what im doing…
@iwfuutaudls - Hahahahaha!
That’s about the best piece of advice EVER!
maybe I’m lucky, but I haven’t had this problem with the guys I’ve been with…
@DANKNIGHT - Very good! Although it may take 20-45 minutes refractory time, it can go by quickly and pleasantly with a well placed tongue and maybe some fingers.
Like a lot of others have said…..every guy is built differently. Foreplay is key!
.
@iwfuutaudls - lmfao.
Just keep him interested …
@bosefius - Hahahahah “freakishly old”.
That you are.
Hell, i’ve always needed at least 10 minutes. Sometimes 20 if I haven’t had a full night’s sleep the night before. (Thank God for energy drinks, eh?)
It’s not that i’m not up for another round right away… “The mind is willing but the flesh is weak” seems to be the most appropriate statement here.
Just go with some form of foreplay while he flips the circuit breakers. I find a simple cuddle/make out session plenty.
Well poster, consider this. When I cum, I usually want to roll off and lie there breathless for a few minutes, maybe longer. However, I have learned that if I fight this feeling, do not withdraw and slowly start moving again, I never really go limp. You can keep going and going and going without even being on drugs, and drugs DO make it better. I have done this sober. Sometimes it takes a few words from your lover to keep you moving “Dont stop! Cum again!” and then the man will remember not to roll over and fall asleep. If the woman demands more pleasure, what choice does the man have?
And I am 32. Get your boy moving.
try viagra? whats the rush?
Yay for tongues and foreplay!!!! (solution to anything, including world peace, if everyone was making love no one could make war)
There are also many other factors in play… When was the last time he got off… How much as he been anticipating this moment with you… How was the build up? Usually we need a break in between… Switching to foreplay is an excellent suggestion…
Well from things I’ve read on the internet I wouldn’t suggest your man taking Viagra at such an early age because it can cause problems in the future when he may actually need it. I may be wrong, I’m no doctor after all, but from things I’ve read it makes sense.
But, from what I’ve learned from experience, there are a couple ways to get a guy to stop from cumming and keep going. One way, is to have him masturbate at least 30 minutes prior. Usually the more a guy can masturbate the longer he actually lasts during intercourse. You should tell him to do it on a daily basis if he doesn’t already. If that doesn’t work, then he should practice holding his cum back. That usually involves the guy stopping for a couple seconds and squeezing the top of his “head” to stop it. I’m not a guy so I don’t know how that one works exactly. One way I’ve done this, is when a guy is close to cumming you stop him by grabbing his testicles and pulling in a downward motion. DO NOT do it hard, just gently. A few of my exes have actually told me how this works, and I’ve done it to prove it for myself. Its great when the guy is about to cum and you can make him stop when you aren’t ready for him to. Its a kind of control you can learn over him. ^_~
In my experience, the younger guys has less of a recuperation period, however I also have noticed that when the sex is greatly enjoyed, the men have to have a longer recharge period.
I agree with snippie, if he’s not too tuckered out, play some more. Have him play with you and vise versa. This keeps your mood and sometimes stimulates him a little more so he can get going again.
Great question! Snippie your posts are awesome! Thanks for the input!
Aw.. I had one of those guys.
ROYALLY ANNOYING!
Im SO glad my boyfriend now can just keep up with me (80% of the time)
(better than 30% though, innit? Hahha)
Trust me, there are guys who will cum 3-4 times within the 45 minutes it takes for you to wait for your guy to be ready haha. Aaaaamazing!
The better the orgasm for you, the less likely you are to want it again right away – women also need a refractory period. I’d say he needs to work more on satisfying you before he lets himself go, that way you are on an even playing field. If not, there are always toys and other means of getting you where you want to go while he recovers.
haha i thought the same thing the first time i had sex.. however it was so painful that i was thankful he couldn’t just “go and go”
All the men I’ve been with always had a “rest” period. I have yet to meet one that could go on and on.
I need some rest too!
yeah…I mean if he’s done and you’re not then there are other ways to keep you going until you’re done even if he doesn’t get up or off again, no harm in getting you off until you’re done…it can be fun for both of you.
Viagra can make any guy go more times.
Another better solution is to let the woman orgasm a few times before he uses his penis.
One time when I was about 22 years old, I was having a one night stand with a woman who’d been teasing me by claiming that I was “plagueing” her on campus. We both knew what she wanted and she and I rendesvoused after midnight at the local watering hole. The foreplay was minimal and she teased me some more by telling me that I was “wasted” and threatening to make me leave. Then she got undressed, we copulated in the dumb ol’ missionary position, and I finished faster than I really wanted to, like after less than five minutes. She said:
“I feel like a board!”
When I heard that, I got mad. I said, “This won’t do!” I got hard again faster than I ever had before, right after coming. I banged her again and came, and she said:
“That’s better.”
It was a really dumb experience. I remember it with mixed emotions of what could have been. Then again, she had an IUD in place. Neither of us caught any bugs from the other one, something not to be taken for granted on a college campus (I could tell you a story about that which would be a lot more gross.) So nothing happened that should not have.
Not all men I think.
@GET_THIS - Write a message to her about your problem.
my ex was ready to go again after like 5-10.
for some reason, though…my current boyfriend never needs to stop.
I wonder why he doesn’t get all “sensitive” or whatever after he comes…
and I asked him if he needed to stop, but no…nothing. it’s so weird. I like it :]
…too bad I need time to rest =p