November 22, 2008
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Dear Snippie #17 (The Back Door)
Question:
do you have any advice for a first timer with anal? My fiance is wanting to try it, and I like the foreplay we’ve done, but when it comes to the actual act, I get really nervous about the pain. Do you have any suggestions, cause I do want to try it at least once.Answer:
I know it’s a scary thing. The back door is not something to take lightly. It’s different in sensation and it doesn’t feel like anything else she you have felt before. Most women who try it love it. It can be painful at times though. But I think everyone should try it at least once. You must be very relaxed in order to enjoy this. Try dimming the lights, lighting a few candles and setting the mood with some soft music. Your partner will need to be patient with you and help to relax you.
The best way to start is to be on all fours. He’ll need to start really slow. He needs a lot of water-based lube by his side. And remember, no mixing. That means once you go back you can’t go front. Go Slow. Very slow. Make sure he knows when you say stop, hold or just raise a hand it means to stop and wait. Then you can let him know when to start again. If you trust each other it can be a wonderful experience and you shouldn’t have any problems. After wards you can take a shower together to clean up. But i would just take a moment to your self on the pot, if you know what i mean. Sometimes it loosens up the tracks…heheHave fun and enjoy!
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Comments (37)
Great post!
@BomCamChuoi - thanks!
Wonderful words of advice!!!!
@Millsanicole - you would know!
@SnippiesBlog - about your wonderful words of advice….or the act spoken about above???
@Millsanicole - haha the act spoken of. Of course im kidding
@SnippiesBlog - love you too B.A.
I liked how nicely you warned her at the end…very tactful
Very good advice! Slow and careful is the key. But the orgasms from anal, when done right, are well worth the effort!
Best advice I heard came from another show, but I’ll be damned if I can remember it.
“Lube, lube, and more lube. When you think you’ve applied enough lube, lube more.”
Oh… and this shouldn’t be some spontanious thing on the girl’s part. She should plan for this one HOURS if not a full DAY IN ADVANCE!!!
My friend’s horror stories from his teen years kept me from this act for quite some time. And it had nothing to do with pain, or anything like that. It was explaining the ruined sheets to his Mother.
No thanks.
Ugggh. Crap hurts. Screwwww that. haha.
deep breaths are important too, i’d imagine.
there is a lube they make that numbs the “doorway” so that one can enter….and from what i’ve heard it doesn’t take away from the welcoming.
WHOA..i wish i had some insightful advice for this but i dont. I am sure that everything you said here will work. So imma go with that.
suggestion…if you’re on all fours, you can guide yourself onto him at your own pace, instead of letting him put it in…..and there’s some stuff called anal eaze….if have never used it…but i hear good things about it.
I totally agree. However, with the position, I think spooning works much better. On all fours is way too deep. It’s easier to control the speed of penetration. Once you get past the sphincter muscle, all is good. I also have noticed that when the finger is used more during fore-play, you get used to something being there… try doing that for a while too. Most definitely clean up before vaginal intercourse. That can cause all kinds of infections… YUCK!
If its done right, anal shouldnt hurt at all. You really have to relax your muscles back there.
Don’t forget the lube!
make sure it’s clean…
D
@jewjewbeedragon - No double dipping!!! That is important!
Anytime my boyfriend goes near the back door, it hurts.. I’m too scared to do this. But I hear it’s good.. Just not for me
@jewjewbeedragon - great advice!
@EarthsAzureLight - true
@BeautySpeaks69 - thanks!
@dadj_21 - haha ok
@kaleidescopeeyes88 - thats right!
@BarelyJen - oh yes!
@buddly47 - very true. thanks!
@Girl_Without_Pity - thank you!
@LaLaLici0us - are you using lube and going slow? relax the muscles first
@buddly47 - Orgasms??? I was jipped.
@seedsower - Aww, Beth! TMI, LOL!
@seedsower - @buddly47 - LMAO
@SnippiesBlog - Me too!!
patience — you can’t just tell your body to relax, he needs endless patience until the muscles relax enough to let him slide in
abd only try it if it turns you on
Yes. Try it. If she feels anything close to what I feel, it’s worth the try.
yea, try it. Most girls who tried it wouldn’t complain…too much
Just gotta take things slow and lots of lube and patience from the guy’s end.
BTW, nobody mention doing it face to face on the first time, or did I miss it? Cuz usually that would avoid going in too fast or too deep. Again, like the missionary position for first timers on intercourse, you’d build trust and connection.
@wallsocketnose - thats very true. I like that way too!
@crush@datingish - very true
@jediwa72 - how about some ladies get the stinging feeling from using lube? do u have any recommendation?
@dadj_21 - by clean what exactly do u mean? & how? I mean, there’s no way to really get that area thoroughly clean…especially after all that “in & out” piston action going on, LOL!
The first time I’ve had anal sex it hurt like hell! And that’s because there wasn’t any lube involved and the guy I was with at the time didn’t know what he was doing. The second time I did it, it actually felt pretty good because the guy knew what he was doing. First of all, make sure the guy wears a condom, of course, so that at least this way if you want to go back to the vaginal way you can without wasting time, and you’d only have to slip a different condom on, second of all make sure there is lots of lube involved. But when the guy gets started he is supposed to stretch you out, using his finger or other objects that he or you may want to use. Then after that he is to lube up penis and then insert it slowly. Most of all, keep in mind, make sure that he stays at the speed you are most comfortable with otherwise you may not be enjoying it as much as you should.
I’ve given my husband some motivation to try it. I told him sex everyday for 30 days, and he’ll be allowed into the playground. Take that Pastor of the 30 day sex challenge!
I’m surprised no one’s mentioned woman-on-top yet. I’ve found it is -the- best position to do anal in, especially for first timers. You really do have total control that way, AND your body is already in a ‘natural’ position so to speak. Sounds weird, but I was amazed when my husband and I tried it that way and there was little to no pain involved for me. The first time ever actually that it didn’t hurt in the begining. Just my reccomendation!
@SnippiesBlog - yea, just be careful cuz guys get tempted easily to double dip back into the front door cuz of the beauty of it is just too darn tempting…especially when a woman is getting all hot and it’s all wet and glistening down there with the lips keep smacking open and close right in front of you….oooooo…
You and your partner will enjoy it very much. Lube is also key if it is 1st time yes, if you can relax that is a good key, but even a better key is when he is in, especially if its your first time for anal, and he gets excited and wants to go harder and deeper and rougher communication is a good key. Aparently the sensations for anal are different for a man, If he likes it, and wants to go harder and deeper, and it will wind up being a tad rough,
Once you find out you do like it if you want it deeper and more awesome all 4′s is good but if you want something that is sensal and loveing then spooning is a good position… but you can also do it from the missionary position its different… but feels good as well.
Hope you enjoy….